what a day...

Here I sit, looking at the gray skies, wondering; o.k. God, watcha got for me today?

My two lil angels, T-Dog and TanMan just about pushed me over the edge yesterday. Geesh, is it really necessary to pound on each other like they do? I usually just sit back and watch them because it all kind of surprises me and honestly, I really don't know what to do at that point. They are tackling each other, kicking, hitting, tickling, half crying and then half laughing. I dunno, must be a boy thing or something. I do get very nervous when I think of them being teenagers and this kind of stuff happening. T-Dog is almost as tall as me right now-I feel my ground falling away here - really fast too!

I have felt for a while that they are growing so fast and keep wondering if I am losing control here. They know how to push my buttons and they know I am a pushover-as their father, the mad scientist keeps reminding me. Yesterday while shopping (the trip I promised all week for the Halloween costume), T-Dog and I were arguing. Or-I was trying to reason and he didn't like my reason. I absolutely hate shopping at Target or Walmart and buying a costume. I tried to tell him that every other kid at school will have the same one. Wouldn't it be way more fun to create our own at home and come up with something really cool - put together by none other than MOM???? I was standing firm here...trying to get him off all that commercial b.s. stuff that kids come to expect now days. Looking back, I don't think my folks ever once even thought about buying our costumes when we were kids. We always, always made them ourselves. You know, when it was cool to be a bum-the kind with a stick and bandanna tied at the end. Or a hippy...lol gosh those were the days-and no one ever, ever had identical costumes. And you know why?? because we all used our own little minds to design the costume. No, we didn't have 25 StarWars get ups running around school, no pirates of the Caribbean. Oh, that reminds me, I have 3 older sisters and they took great fun in designing my costumes. The Shirley Temple story and Puss In Boots story will be saved for a later date (ugh, how could they do that stuff to me??)

Anyway, I have rambled way off the subject, once again. Yesterday after arguing for a good 30 minutes over why I didn't want to pay 20 bucks for a mask for each of my children and then 24.99 for a black scary looking gown - T-dog just lost it. Stomped off and turned back and said; "fine, if your going to be a jerk" and didn't quite finish whatever else was going to come out of that mouth of his - I threw down the few items I had already planned to buy right where I stood and said "fine, we're out of here, get in the car!" (wondering now how many moms looked on) I looked back once and both of my lil angels were standing with their mouths hanging open-and out I marched! T-Dog followed with his mask and black scary gown-running to keep up, TanMan was running already. Apparently all of the times I have warned them to stay close because of the bad guys out there worked-because as I stomped along they kept up. T-Dog still thought I was buying his selection when I hit the registers and walked right through. He was panicking and I was...well, TICKED!!! I went to the car, ordered them to get in and get their seat belts on, which they did in record time. As I started the car and backed up they still thought I was going to turn around and go buy them what they wanted. This all turned into both of them crying and begging and pleading and saying they were sorry. Then when they found I wasn't going back I heard a couple of "I'm running away's" and "I wish I had a different mom". Wrong thing to say at this point boys because they got a "yeah, you're going to wish that even more on Halloween when you are sitting home and no costume at all". Silence from the back seat. Guess I made my point. Oh, the times they are a changing here-those babies of mine are no longer babies and geesh-I have to get in control here. How I long for those long nights of infants screaming their lil heads off all night long, pacing the floors with sick, screaming babies.. It appears now that is just about the easiest time of the Motherhood thing-the time when your little offspring can't talk back!!

So all of this happened at the end of my day. The first part of the day had me at the docs office-having a M.R.I. on my knee. Good Lord, Miss Doctor thinks I tore the meniscus or tendons in my knee. So I've limped around for a little over 6 weeks now thinking it would go away and it was just a little 'creak" in my bones as I age. Not so easy, woman-life does not happen that way. After the physical examination and the doc reporting to me what she thinks is wrong, I was stunned; "I don't have time for that!" sly little smile from doc...ugh off to the M.R.I. I went. No results yet.......who knew delivering mail could be so dangerous. Yes, I twisted my knee while trying to keep my foot on the brake and stretching out the window to reach some mailbox that was way too high. Treatment for any of the things that they are guessing about my knee is not what I want to hear. I will not think about that until I know for sure. Yes, it could just be a strain too.(crossing fingers, toes and legs)

As I was dressing after the M.R.I my cell phone is ringing. What in the world I thought?? No one ever calls me, except my mom and the mad-sci and both know where I am. Answer the phone to hear my sister. Now I know my sisters well and I know when something is wrong and they are trying to be calm and not get me worked up. "Nooo" it's my Dad and he is the emergency room. I am to meet my niece who will take T-Dog and TanMan and then get to hospital. I left the nurses at the clinic with their mouths hinging open as they shouted "drive careful!", next I left my boys standing in McDonald's parking lot with their little Happy Meals in hand next to their car seats with my niece ordering; "just go, I've got it!". As I drove 80 miles an hour to the hospital, praying 'please. please, don't let this be the day' another ring from my phone. A different sis this time. Everything is under control, he is o.k., slow down. Geez is it no wonder I keep my filthy smoking habit??

Upon arriving at the E.R. the receptionists gives my my lil sticker and directs me to my dad but says "there is already a couple of people back there, you'll need to send someone out". I looked at her smiled, said "ya think? You go tell someone to leave. Besides that, I think there is one more sister who hasn't arrived." I must have had a "look" in my eye because she backed down. The last of my sisters to arrive reported she had the same conversation. No one made any of us leave as the four of us along with my Mother stood with our Dad.

It seems a doc of my Dad's prescribed an additional lacik (sp?) pill. I sure do wish the docs communicated better. My Dad was just beginning his first physical therapy session when he turned white, broke out in a sweat and his blood pressure dropped to a level I didn't know was possible. My poor Mother. One of the few times we have let them go to an appointment alone. My Mother had to run behind the gurney as they pushed my Dad from the heart center physical therapy area to the emergency room.. They wasted no time and we are all very thankful he was already at the hospital and not at home for this. My Dad was dehydrated from being over prescribed the water pills. My sisters and I all gave each other "the look" as they tried to explain that a lot of times there is some "tweaking" that needs to go on after heart surgery. Yeah, well lets just get it right-this is MY DAD for cripes sake!!

Today I am a little bit afraid to leave the house or answer the phone. And that isn't even the worst of it, to prove a point, I need to come up with 2 really cool costumes that I will be capable of making at home. And yes, I happen to be the least crafty or artistic person I know.