Thanks..for....

Here it is already Thanksgiving. It is no joke that time flies the older you get. Seems like it was just yesterday when I was sending my boys off on the bus for the first day of the new school year. So life is busy and it is true it keeps going on with or without you participating.

Am I participating? I am still working at the group home, killer hours. Overnight hours that make me crazy and sleeping anywhere and any chance I get. Sometimes it seems as if I am just moving along without any real awareness of where I am moving. And the guilt. Ugh. Mothers guilt. Time away from my kids, not giving them my full attention because I just can't do everything. Homework, lunches, clean clothes, warm gear for winter, volunteer for this or that at school, the list is never ending. Last weeks conferences with the boys teachers has settled a new layer of guilt for me. Are my boys just doing enough to get by? Not excelling like I know they can. Or is that just a typical Mom and her unrealistic expectations of her children. Since everyone knows I have the smartest , most amazing boys on earth. :o)

“The road to ruin is paved with good intentions.”‥and you keep making potholes.

I am still trying to get to the local community college to begin taking classes. I am still hoping to get my yard raked before the snow flies (which is fore casted for Thanksgiving day). I look at my walls daily and still have a plan to paint the entire house. Cutting the Christmas tree down and decorating the house is supposed to be this week end. I still think I can get the growing basket of bills, legal papers and other crap filed. My office is still in line to be unpacked and organized (I have lived here for a year now). I will get my kids on a good schedule for doing homework and getting to bed on time.

Worry is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. --

My Dad had knee replacement surgery a few weeks back. That day I found myself in the emergence room with my Mother. Good thing I have 3 sisters. We split up and everyone stuck together via cell phones. We irritated countless hospital workers with this. Yes, we can read the signs to shut off cell phones but have you ever had both of your parents needing hospital care at the exact same time. Thanks to that special ER nurse who was able to see we needed both of our folks on the same floor when they were admitted. Both are home now and recovering nicely. Although my Dad's congestive heart failure is progressing-beginning stages of kidney failure now. My Mother cannot cope with this and what is a daughter to do? She has been with him for almost 60 years she tells me. I have had him my whole life - what will I do? Can't tell her that though.

Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way... that is not easy.-- Aristotle.

The mad-sci and I rarely see eye to eye anymore. He works more and harder than I do. I am negative about everything. I put the kids first. I don't communicate enough. On and on the list goes - just ask him. Don't ask me though cuz I will will as hard as I can in the most negative way I know to communicate like I never have before.

“The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving”H.U. Westermayer

I am thankful for each day. I am thankful for my children which were such an unexpected blessing to me. I am thankful that I am 45 years old and still have both of my parents. I am thankful for my large family-my 3 sisters and I have produced quite a herd. And every child in this family is healthy. Most of all, I am thankful that even when I want to quit there is some little voice inside me that talks me out of it. I am thankful for the new Church we have joined-and all because my child came home from school asking if we could! Yes, I am thankful because when you least expect them, blessings do come.

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
―Robert Frost

So, it has been forever and a day since I have written here. Life is busy. Things have changed and yet they have stayed the same. How profound is that? The boys are almost a month into school and all seems well on that end. The business is, well, still the business. Still trudging along. Or at least the Mad-Sci is trudging while dragging me along. Honestly, I am pretty fed up with it. I am hoping the guys who have been trying to make a deal with us to come in and take over do just that. I made a decision to make a life for me! Just me. For so long I have been working my tail off to see the mad-sci and his dream come to life that I have finally just come to the end. So I picked my lazy rear end up and started to make things happen.

When I was 15 years old, my first job was in a nursing home. And I loved it. I knew then even at that age what I should do with my life. But did I listen to my own self? Of course not. I went down some crazy road that was never ever in my plan. I made some decisions and even became successful at one of my choices in a career. But I walked away when I met the mad-sci 16 years ago. (I hated that career, making all kinds of money for someone else while they just pressure you for more. ) And ever since it has been his goal I have worked for. So a big kick in the pants to my self.

I have taken a job in a group home. I am working with 4 severely handicapped, low functioning individuals. And I have to say, it all feels right. My next step? School! I have to get my nerve up and start that process. Because at the ripe old age of 45 I have come back to what I knew at 15 years of age. It feels great too. Everyone who knows me well has a hard time understanding that this is what I like. I like to work a job that really doesn't seem like a job. Caring for another human being while respecting their dignity gives me a new perspective on life. To have a job where I can give to someone by just doing the simple things in life that most take for granted is pretty rewarding for me. To feed someone, dress and wash them make sure all meds are taken may not seem like much to some. But for me, I know I am doing what I should be doing and there is a kind of peace that comes with that.

I have to say the first day I worked, I stood there, wide eyed, holding back tears. So many things went through my head. This could be one of my family members or it could be me. It was hard to see a human being live with such great disability. The second day I slid right into my groove. Making a grown person who has the function of a 2 year old smile is pretty rewarding. Being able to dress a 160 pound human being while he lays flat on his back and not able to help himself at all is huge! Some get this and some don't. But this is where I belong.

The biggest thing i have learned at this point. I am going to do whatever it takes to drill into my children's heads that you need to do what you know your head and your heart are saying to you. Never ever go against your own heart.

The good ole summertime....

A couple weeks ago I thought..well, if I only post monthly, is that so bad? Now I've even passed up that deadline. Seriously, I don't know how those 'Mom Blogger's" out there manage to post everyday. Plus they go on all those exotic vacations with a zillion kids in tow. I've got two boys and no fancy schmancy vacation going on and although I get extra kids around here occasionally, I don't have what some other Mom's have going on. And yet, I still feel as if I am on a tread mill where I cannot reach the speed dial. There used to be a time when I found reading a zillion blogs was inspiring-kept me positive, ya know?? Now, it seems to be the flashing light of inadequacy of my life! BUT...never been a quitter so here I am ...writing again. (If you want to call it writing..::Flash:: Flash::

My kids and I just got back from 2 days of a mini vacation. We went with my folks to visit my aunt and uncle at their lake home which is just about 2 hours away from me. We packed in the fun--I covered as much ground as I could for my boys and am indebted to all who made it possible. We fished-from the dock and from the boat, we went out to dinner and played the required "up north, resort video games", rode 4 wheelers, swam and pulled the boys around the lake in tubes, and I ate..man, did I eat. It was a great time and we were all exhausted. It was a huge sacrifice for my Dad, who never wants to leave home and if he does, he races back home as fast as possible. He managed to suck it up for my boys and we stayed overnight and he didn't return back to his chair until early the next evening!!

Every summer about this time (2 weeks before school starts) I start to worry-worry that my boys will be disappointed in life. That I didn't plan enough, that they didn't get anything special out of their summer vacation. The Mad-Sci says to knock it off because they are so spoiled already that they should be grateful. This is a huge argument for us. I always want to give more and he says they should be satisfied with what they have. I don't know, maybe it is just the difference between a mom and a dad. Or maybe the flashing lights in his inadequacy sign burned out leaving more juice for my flashing lights??

Whatever. T-Dogg had a great baseball season this year. His team won his league standings, the league tournament and made it to the state tournament. I played ball for well over 30 years and never made it to a state tourney!! So I was pumped!! His team started out like wild fire, winning their first two games. The third game...well..they lost before they began. We got to the field looked at the other team - all who were inches taller than our whole team and 90% of them were African American. (Is that politically correct now??I can never remember). Honestly I do not want to offend anyone it is just that it never occurred to me before but my boys do live a pretty sheltered life. We live an hour for any major city and frankly-it is pretty much white. No big deal and I teach my kids about the world and what is out there and that we are all created equal-people are all different whether it me color, language or religion. But when the boys on our team looked across the field at the opposing team, a couple of us moms laughed. We knew what the kids were thinking and we knew we had just lost the game. In the end it didn't matter because the kids had a great experience and they worked hard to get where they were (not as hard as their Mothers worked to get them there, mind you). A lot of the boys on our team cried, which I suppose for 9 and 1o year old boys is understandable. It is frustrating to lose. My TDogg didn't cry though. He stomped over to our truck, threw his equipment in and locked the doors. Refused to talk to our family members who came to cheer him on. Silly boy-his older boy cousins are never going to let him forget that. Which is what those cousins are for I guess.

This summer we had another life lesson brought home. It was very serious and very sad. And I floundered for a while. A friend of T-Doggs, one of his first friends in pre-school has had a terrible time of things. And that is an understatement. While watching the news one evening, it is flashed across the screen about a murder/suicide in our area. Sketchy details but enough so this family flashed through my mind. I told myself no and didn't mention it to TDogg who was watching with me. The next day when the pictures and names were all over the television and newspapers I had to give my boys an explanation. The Dad strangled the Mother and then hung himself while 2 out of the 3 children watched. These were people that TDogg knew, had been to their house to play. I explained as best I could, prayed like crazy for those children and TDogg seems to be o.k. with it. It has been 2 weeks and I cannot quit thinking of it. It won't get out of my head. The kids or the Mother and even the Dad. So much suffering before and after.

Happier thoughts. I had a nephew, get married this summer. The boys and I traveled to Wisconsin for the wedding. TanMan had never been to a wedding. So we had fun, once the actual ceremony was over anyway. Apparently little boys are not to excited over wedding ceremonies. After TanMan asked me,"Mom, why do they say you may kiss the bride at a wedding?" Before I could reply he said "I mean, who else would you kiss?" As I sit trying to think up something really smart to tell the boys as we are driving down the road Tdogg pipes up with "Yeah, why don't they say...wait, what's the boy name for the person getting married?" I say "GROOM" hoping we are going to take a different direction and then TDogg says "Yeah, that's it, GROOM...why don't they say you can kiss the groom???"
Why do they have to always make my brain hurt so much? Incidentally 2 weeks after the wedding it has been announced that there is a new baby on the way. Thomas thinks they made a baby awfully fast. Why, yes son, yes they did.


Two weeks until school starts. My Mother wants to know if I am going to wait until the last minute to get school supplies? Shouldn't I already be done with that? Geesh I have almost all of their schools clothes bought and hid. Yes, hid! Apparently my Mother doesn't remember what it is like to have your kids drive you nuts wanting to wear their new shoes, underwear and backpacks before the first day of school. Glue sticks can wait because I think the list from school says they need 85 sticks of glue...what the heck who all am I supplying with supplies? Actually, I love buying school supplies but I am learning and I know, if I don't want to have to buy the supplies twice before school even starts, to just wait and they wont have time to use them before the actual first day of school. Just like I have learned when we are shopping for clothes, if I just stand there with my mouth shut, 9 times out of 10 TDogg will pick stuff I like. If I try and direct him at all he goes way off the board trying to make me nuts with his style. Took me 10 years but now I know, whatever I say-he is going to do the opposite. Just to flex his rights. So. I'll shut up.

Surviving Summer

Where does the time go?

Another long gap between posts here for me. The summer months seem too just get away from me. I suppose having two very active children will do that to you. I kind of disappoint myself when I say that I am ready for the whole baseball thing to be over. I love baseball-I played ball from the age of 7 until 25. The mad-sci and I played a couple seasons of co-ed ball when I was in my 30s but I don't really count it since all we really won were the beer trophy's. A sign of the times-my times. Before children times. Whatever, this year T-Dog's season seems to be dragging on forever. Next year will be more of a challenge when both boys are playing. I am in the home stretch now though, 2 more games and one more week end tournament. So that has my thoughts turning to school starting and all the preparation I need to do for that.

It has been a strange time in the world. Losing Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson has had me thinking just how fast time gets away. Gosh, those two were both icons in my time. It was sad to lose them-although I have to say I did not spend 4-6 hours yesterday in front of my television. Since they really weren't a part of my life I did not spend a great amount of time mourning them. I probably spent more time mourning for myself and just how fast time has sped by. Seems like yesterday when all the guys were trying to do the moon walk at our junior high school dances. That and the fact that one of my best buddies from junior high left a message on my facebook asking; "where have you been? I have been looking for you for 27 years?"

Twenty seven years???? Really? How do 27 years speed by like that?

Imagine my Mom and Dad, who on the 4th of July celebrated their 56th wedding anniversary. Then this coming Saturday my Mother celebrates her 75th birthday. If I am freakin about how much time has passed I can only imagine how my folks are feeling. I can remember sitting at the lunch table in the 4th grade and discussing with my friends how old our Moms are. My Mom was 40 at the time-and she was old. LOL Life plays those tricks I guess...at 45 years old I am thinking geesh 75 isn't THAT old!

What makes me feel old is this:

Sitting on a curb watching my hometown 4th of July parade with my kids, my Mother and one of my sisters and a float passes by. "Look at all the pretty girls" I say to my boys who both look away and pretend they don't hear me. Imagine my surprise (and T-Dogs) as one of those pretty girls on the float stands up and yells: "THOMAS!"

Yep, some junior princess on a float knows my baby. My sister would have taken a picture but she couldn't decide who (T-Dog or his Mom) had the better look of surprise. I am pretty sure if there would have been a hole big enough my baby would have crawled right in and buried himself. He gave me 'the look" and I am smart enough to not say one word. I recovered pretty well, kept my mouth shut and just raised an eyebrow. "Awww Mom, I knew her in 2nd grade" Thomas says (with a pink tinted face). Oh well second grade.... that was like.......... eons ago.

I wish I could make my boys understand how fast time really does go by. But I know they will learn it as I have. I just wish they knew so they could hold each moment a little more and not rush to grow up. I'd like that for my boys.

Why do so many years have to pass us by before we learn the really important stuff?



A picture taken 5 years ago when I took the
boys to Idaho for a wedding. Twenty-five
hours (one way) in a car and TanMan wasn't
even 1 year old. We are sitting outside the
church and it was 103 degrees when this
picture was taken. I look a whole lot better
than how I was really feeling at that point.

"Years teach us more than books."
—Berthold Auerbach


Summer vacation is rolling along.

Last week the boys and I attended our local library annual Summer kick off reading program. TDog was not happy that I made him go. "Probably going to be all dorks there, all little kids." he said. Well much to his surprise the kick off was a reptile show.
Reptiles..take that son! Now, TDog might have been one of the few older boys BUT it was REPTILES!! Gosh, being able to say "I told you so" even if it is to one of my babies sure feels good.

After we headed to or our Wally World store for groceries. I swear my boys behaved better when they were 3 years old than they do now. Now, I come out of that big honkin' Chinese supplied store looking like a frazzled old women. And my boys? Lately they come out of there with lost privileges. HAH! Grounded..and who pays more? Me or them? Obvious answer for any Mom.

I write all of that to get to this:

While we were checking out our groceries in the new 'serve yourself lane' which my kids think is just about the coolest thing ever. Scan your own groceries? Awesome...and the fight breaks out over who gets to scan and we quickly have a Walmart worker there trying to check our bags for missed items. Argh....both boys are banished to the side of the cart. It is at this point TanMan sees one of his little school mates:

TanMan: Colton, HEY COLTON!!
Colton: (smiles) hi Tanner
TanMan: You should have been at school today. They had snakes and lizards and turtles!!
Colton: (huh?)
TanMan: It was so cool, I got to touch everything too
Colton: Oh, my Dad doesn't have any money.
TanMan: They had a snake thissssss big (hold arms out)


Of course when the child replied with my Dad doesn't have any money, I find myself face to face with his Dad. I froze as the man and I looked right into each others eyes. He had his two children with him and an older lady. Probably his Mother or maybe not..maybe just someone helping him to buy groceries. I could see the look in that mans eye. Defeat. Embarrassment. I was having a hard time. I certainly didn't want to make the man feel worse. Really, what I wanted to do was to go over and hug the man. To tell him I know how it feels, I have been there. Please don't feel this way-keep moving forward.

Over the years as the Mad-Sci and I have worked at raising our children and to get a business off the ground. We have struggled-and struggled is a nice word for it. The Mad Sci has had to take work that he hates, have companies close down, been laid off. It has been one set back after another. If it weren't for my folks there were times that my children would have been hungry. I am lucky that my Mom and Dad have always been there for my kids and for me. Many times I kept it a secret (or so I thought) and my Mom and Dad would pull into our driveway and hand me money or groceries or just something new and special for my boys.

"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."
—J. Paul Getty

I know how that man at Walmart felt. I know his kids had an idea of the situation but I could see he was doing what he could to shield them. That little boy didn't really understand what "no money" meant. I know he has probably overheard the struggles. But he was a clean, smiling little boy. After they checked out the man and lady walked by me with his two kids skipping along after them.

I have had a hard time getting that man and his eyes out of my head. I wish I would have had some saving comment to make to him. But I was just frozen. I only hope that he read my eyes as well as I read his. I know your pain-please don't give up and stay strong for the kids.

Easier said than done....

It is a scary time to be raising children. I watch other people who drive brand new SUV's, their kids in designer clothes, riding 4 wheelers and signed up for every summer program available. Do they get it? Are their kids learning what my kids and the man at Walmart and his kids are learning? I know my kids, especially Tdog, get frustrated that they can't do everything they want, that we can't go to Florida on vacation or that they don't have a 4 wheeler to rip around on our land with. They think I am nagging when I try to explain saving gas or to not waste that full glass of milk! They get ticked when every time I pass McDonalds or a store that I don't just wheel right in and buy them a treat.

It is hard to feel that you are letting your children down. And then I think, maybe I am teaching my children something more something better. I have to really stand back and take a deep breath to get to this because struggling is just so damn hard. BUT I want to think that I am teaching my kids the important things. Things like; compassion, how to look out for each other, what it means to be a family, how important going to school is and to try and do well at it. To NEVER give up!

As I look around at the world, all of the jobs being lost, the people losing their homes and the general state of things. Sometimes I have to laugh to myself. The Mad-Sci and I have been dealing with this for a while sooooo that just puts us that much further ahead. The state of the economy probably is more painful for others-only because I am used to it. The people running our Country really have no idea....and I believe never will. Most ( I can't think of one) will never see the struggles I have.

I don't know..they may have the power and the money...but I like to think I have the wisdom. I also know that I can look at the man next to me struggling and look with compassion. Hopefully so can my children.


"When you come to the edge of all the light you have and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on or you will be taught to fly."
Patrick Overt

Nail Polish & Turtles

"If you instill in your child a love of the outdoors and an appreciation of nature, you will have given him a treasure no one can take away."
Ted Trueblood

Wahooooo!! Schools out for Summer!!

I am not sure who was more excited for the last day of school, me or my children. No more dragging them out of bed, tossing them in the shower, arguing about the clothes they choose. No more screaming a hundred times to get to bed, shut the light off. And No more Homework battles! Now, watch for my update in 3 months when I am doing the count down of how many days before school starts because I have had enough summer.

The last day of school was a bit rough on me. I dropped TanMan off with his teacher and had tears in my eyes. My baby is growing up and kindergarten days are over. This was obvious as my lil TanMan quickly escaped my side to blend in with his buddies, pretending to not know me. My boys are smart. They know when Mom is about to lose it and they want no part of that scene. I walked alone back to my car crying, looking around wondering; am I the only Mom crying here?

Our first day of summer started with the dog finding a turtle crawling through our yard. The boys were pumped and ran off to find a container to keep the poor thing captive. Later, I was chatting away on the telephone and in they rushed looking for something. Not paying much attention I kept on chatting. After a while I stepped outside to see how the turtle was surviving and was speechless.

Back when I was very young, summer meant running wild and occasionally getting involved with our school summer program. What we never missed was the turtle racing event. We would go find a turtle by a creek somewhere. Funny to think of all the turtles that were found for this. Once we found the turtle we would grab our fingernail polish and paint a number on its back so we could identify our turtle in the race. I don't remember any of the actual races or if my turtles ever won. At some time in my two boys short little lives I must have told the turtle racing stories.

So yesterday when I stepped out my door and looked in the gray tub, filled with rocks, mud, water and a rather large turtle with its whole shell painted bright toenail color pink I was shocked?
ME:"You painted the whole shell?"
TDog: "Kind of but we didn't mean to"
Me: "well the poor thing is flaming pink"
TanMan: "It looked cool Mom"
TDog: "It was a cool design Mom"
TanMan: "Til Janey got it" (Janey is our hunting dog)
TDog: "Janey hit it with her paw and flipped it over so the design I made got all smudged"
Me: "Ahh well that explains it but I told you I only painted a number on my turtles back"
TDog: "Yeah, but this looked cool"
Me: "do you remember why turtles have a shell and why they are the color they are?"
TDog and TanMan: (silence, but I see they are thinking - if they know anything at all my boys know about camouflage)
TanMan: "Well they live in the water Mom, won't it just wash off."
Me: "Does it wash off my toenails when I take a shower?"
TDog: (with a look of 'oh crap') "will it ever wear off??"
Me: "I don't know, maybe-hopefully"
TanMan: "I called Dad, he said they eat fish-we gotta get it some fish Mom"
Me: "just feed it some lettuce and grapes-it will be fine"
TDog : "No Dad says fish!"
Me: "Yes. well Dad isn't home and where in the world am I supposed to get fish??"

And so we were off to the bait store. The 3 older gentlemen sitting on the porch of the bait store and the clerk at the store are probably still talking about us. The lady and her two kids buying minnows for a turtle. Lucky for me they hadn't seen the poor turtle. We spent a day and a half with that turtle in captivity. The boys had great fun holding a minnow in front of that turtle as it chomped the head off. TanMan kept running in the house to show me bloody headless minnows.

So I am guessing the boys are learning something here but when that turtle wasn't munching on minnow heads it was scratching on the side of the plastic tub, trying to escape. I called a meeting.

Me: "OK boys, does that bother you that he hates being in that tub?"
Boys: (more thinking)
Me: "Would you want to be caged like that?
TanMan: "I wouldn't fit in there Mom"
Me: "I know, but what if I made you sit in a little space all day long instead of out running around?"
Boys: (thinking going on...I know it...(Lord please let them think this through)

Phone rings...it is their Dad. I explain the situation and that they don't want to let it go. He says; "tell them it is mean to keep it, let the damn thing go-beside, it is nesting time, it could have laid eggs somewhere or is going to". I relay that message and then go back inside. I watch as TDog talks to TanMan a little then he picks the turtle up and off they run.
Later when I look in the tub, it is empty. Then I wonder how long would I have tried to persuade them to let that thing go if the Mad Sci hadn't called.

Ahhh summer....turtles, baseball and little boys!


"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries."
—A.A. Milne

This morning as I laid out all my paperwork for a very important phone call I explained to TanMan (now 5 1/2 years old):
"the call is very important and I cannot be interrupted. If you need a drink, something to eat, a movie put in, your butt wiped - anything lets do it before I pick up the phone. It is a very important call, son - do you understand that you cannot make noise or ask for anything while I am on the phone?
"Yeah, OK Mom, but can I breathe?"



A few days ago while driving my boy to a birthday party:
TanMan: Mom, what if on the day I was born I came out and I was still a seed?
Mom: hmmm, that wouldn't be good
TanMan: Then the doctor would have to stick me back in your stomach and sew you up so I could grow more.
Mom: gosh Son..what makes you think of that?
TanMann: I dunno...going to a birthday party I guess.



I have let almost a whole month pass by without taking time to ramble on here. In that month of time I have turned another year older. FORTY FIVE flippin years old. Geesh...

I celebrated another Mothers Day. The Mad Sci came through this year and took my boys shopping and bought me some hanging plants for my yard. Big points for him - finally. Actually, he has been on a roll this year. He took the boys shopping for my birthday too. He let them pick out their own gifts for me and after a 15 minute game of rock, scissors, paper I was able to open their gifts. Both the boys were excited with their gift and it was a big commotion as to which I opened first. So this year I received my first gift of nick-knacks from my babies. Very fragile glass pieces with flowers and the word MOM. Then it was a half hour argument between the boys as to which gift I like better. It never gets any easier being the mom - but it sure is good to know they love you.

I spent Mothers day out in the woods hunting turkey with my Uncle. (I hope to write about this years hunting experiences in a later post) I had 5 days to hunt but Mothers Day was the only day I could actually be out without the responsibility of my kids. The Mad Sci had the whole day long to spend with them-and they need it. He works a lot right now and the boys need him - TDog especially. He is at the age where it just isn't cool to need your Mom-but Dad is a different story. So sad to watch your boy grow away from you. Not away I suppose just growing up. TanMan still needs me lots more than his Dad though, so I have some time. I know they will always need me, I just hope it is as much as I need them. Life can be pretty unfair sometimes yanno. And so far I have learned that being the Mom is anything but fair....but all the little moments make it all so worth it.

Spring has sprung ..and so have I apparently

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings.
―Hodding Carter


Finally I begin with: The weather is awesome up here in Minnesota! Sunny and 7o degrees today!! Yahoooo!

It has been forever and a day since I have taken time to write here. I don't know why, I have no excuse! Except for maybe that here in Minnesota when winter seems to never end, it is hard to even fake being nice. It probably wouldn't have been a good idea to come and write when all I would have had is whining, complaining and ticked off at someone.

It was a long, long winter. My lil TanMan has been sick since February, I think. I finally got him in at our regular clinic only to find that the substitute clinic I brought him to misdiagnosed the poor child. He had strep throat for well over 2 weeks which then brought infection into his sinus. It was not a fun time-docs said he probably had a couple of virus' on top of all that. Not to worry though-we have him on some kick butt antibiotics now-14 days worth. Which is great except for the diarrhea junk that goes with the meds. Seems we just can't win with the kid....and that my friends is the price you pay for sending your child off to the germ factory (school) after never placing them in a daycare. We are building immunities, that's what we 're doing.

We had a great Easter. I disappointed myself by not posting here at that time. Then I disappointed myself even more when late in the evening on Easter I realized I had not taken one picture of the whole day. Geeesh....what kind of mom am I anyway?

Now I am working up for summer. School will be out soon and I will need to keep these two growing boys of mine busy. T-Dogg will be playing little league baseball and TanMann wants to join Boy Scouts. I would like them both in swimming lessons but my "too cool" TDogg thinks he knows everything he needs already. Big surprise-another battle with me and the 9 year old. The kid is aging me fast. He is also "too cool" for school apparently. My star student now seems to think he knows everything and so he just has to go to school to socialize. Love getting those type of reports from Mrs Teacher.

So now I am off for the last couple of hours I get of alone time today...before the bus comes rolling down the road and delivers my lil angels for the week end. Baseball try outs tomorrow..I am nervous and T-Dogg is too cool to worry about it.


Tanner on Easter as I was preparing dinner at home for our family. This started when I opened the oven to check on the ham:

TanMan: Mom, are you getting bigger?
Mom: (half in the oven) What? What do you mean?
TanMan: Are you growing Mom?
Mom: No, I am done growing, but you still have lots of years left to grow
TanMan: Mom? How come it looks bigger there then?
Mom: (turning around with big roaster pan of ham in hands) bigger? where?
TanMan: Right there Mom (pointing at my rear end)
Mom: (looks over at daughter in law who is trying to not bust a gut) go wash your hands child
TanMan: ok..but
Mom: (drops hot pad on the floor, bend over to pick up)
TanMan: SEE RIGHT THERE (pointing somewhere between my rear end and to what I have now come to realize..saddlebags)..it's all puffy or something!! Is that fat Mom?
Daughter in law: you better go wash up TanMan..and if you know what is good for you..never, never tell your mom she looks fat!
Mom: gosh....sure glad I made you all that chocolate frosted cake..that I will now be sitting on my fat butt eating all by MYSELF!


(Apparently winter was longer than I realized...was long enough for me to get a fat butt!!! Can't wait for bathing suit season........argh)

Spring.will it ever be?

It has been forever and a day since I have sat down here to write. I have tried to keep up on my reading but have done poorly at that too. It is the time of the year- I do poorly at almost everything. LOL How is that for a nice positive entry?

I finally am able to see grass...soft, mushy, muddy, grass. But I don't have to shovel it so I will be quiet and not complain. I think we are on day 3 of rain, with measurable amounts of snow forecasted for this week end. Now ain't that just dandy. I need Spring, and I don't mean windy, rainy Spring. I need sunshine, tree budding, wild animals mating Spring. C'mon Mother Nature let me have it.

Winter can get to be a little bit depressing for me, in case you haven't noticed. Everything feels just a little bit darker, a little bit harder, and all an uphill battle. Then I sit back and think, is it just the time of year or is it the time of life I am in? My little boys need me less and less every day and my folks need me more and more.

A couple weeks back the boys and I took a trip to Iowa for my Nephew and his little girl's birthday parties, We have to make the trip in one day-there and back, because my Dad refuses to stay away from home any longer than that. So drive 5 hours, celebrate birthdays for 2 hours, then drive back 5 more hours. It was on this trip that I was forced to accept that my Dad is changing. My Dad, who never in my whole life has been lost while driving, had us lost. He was calm, my Mother was spazzing out, my boys were wild Indian's after just spending hours in the car..and I was in the very back seat of my folks van with reality slapping me hard across the face. My Dad wasn't admitting he was lost nor was he denying it. It was hard to watch him, I could see the look of confusion on his face. The look of denial on my mothers face. Sad, I tell you. Reality-well it just sucks! Much of his memory loss is due to his open heart surgery and the docs warned us of it. But I cannot help wondering how much of the surgery is the cause or if it is just the normal way life will proceed for my Dad. What I do know is that I am not ready to deal. Why do I have to? I don't want to. I want my Dad to be the guy who knows everything and can do everything. Just like he has always been my whole life. I want him to make up an answer to the question I ask when he doesn't really know the answer. I don't want to see that my Dad is becoming a little old man who is just as scared at what lies ahead as I am.

Flip side. Man, my boys are growing too fast. Last week, after a little trouble at school, TDog informs me that I can't stop him from hanging around with whoever he wants. "You wanna bet on it? I can control a whole lot more than you think, Son- do not push me!!" Now didn't I handle that well??? Good Lord. Words are coming out of my mouth that leave even me shocked. The Mad-Sci, he just smiles and quietly exits the room. I don't know but my feelings were bruised-a lot - when my now 9 year old informed me: "you only want me to look like a dork, just like you!"
Yes, oh child of mine, I have not slept an entire night through in the last nine years, have wiped your butt, your nose and held your head over the throw up bucket-JUST SO I CAN MAKE YOU INTO A DORK! arghhhhhhhhhh

So,feeling like the cool and groovy Mom that I am...........lets go ROLLERSKATING!
Honestly, I had a great time! It had been over 20 years since I was on roller skates. Came home with a bruise on my rear end that was the size of a small bread plate and could barely drive for a week from a bruised wrist-but I did have fun. And occasionally TDog let me skate within 3 feet of him! My baby Tanner loves me still and skated constantly with me, round and round while holding my hand. (Sweet lil thing when will you grow up to think I am a dork too?) And you know, I do remember the roller rink. That's where the boys start trying to be real cool for those cute little girls who want to take my babies from me!! But I maintained and if girls were near I skated right past-like I didn't even know that cute little blond kid that I gave life to. My attempt at playing tag with the older boys is how my wrist got so sore. I hit that dang wall very hard. Good thing the wall was there or I'd still be flying along in those skates. Had a memory lapse in stopping there for a minute but I recovered and my wrist reminded for a week after on how not to stop on roller skates.

The whole month of February the stomach flu wreaked havoc on my household. Another little blessing of Minnesota winters. The germs stay bottled up in your house and just keep going round and round. March has brought us into head colds and coughs. A whole lotta hacking going on here at night. And never forget the virus. What the heck? Never heard of a virus when I was a kid...but it seems every other day someone has a new virus here at my house. Yes, we go to the doc, pay the office visit deductible only to have mister smiley doc say;"oh, a virus, wait 5-7 days and come back if it isn't any better." ackkkk I hate that-cant they give us shots in the butt or something to make this end??? I am sure when I was a kid we got shots in the rear when we were sick. Not any more though..now Moms all over Minnesota suffer through winter virus's. Over and Over again. Flu shots?? What the heck for, we don't get the flu-we get a VIRUS!!

So, if you are still reading this I am sure by now you are thinking it was kind of nice when it was so quiet from my corner of the world. Never fear, Spring is bound to arrive and then I will be back to my happy ass old self!! HAH! Well, I'll get to get outside, dig in my gardens anyway and a little dirt therapy always does me good!

round 4

OK..so I am up to round 4 now. Yes the dreaded flu has struck again. Now, call me petty but what is the deal with the main caretaker, who after caring for her children through vomiting, fevers and headaches, sterilizing and re-sterilizing our home, is rewarded with the same flu?? Gosh, I thought I was going to croak there for a bit. Then I lay there moaning (to myself since there is no one listening to me) and I think, how in the world did my little children endure this? Maybe I am just a whimp....but then they haven't spent the last 3 weeks up nights and all day caring for someone else. I might have been a tad worn down from all of that I suppose. Well, I am on the road to recovery now-even managed to get some coffee poured down me-which, I think, probably will help the pounding headache I have going on. A little bit of caffeine withdrawal going on, ya think??

The mad-sci has chosen his words carefully, especially since he has not yet recovered from his valentine errors. He does what he can for me, except for that he is gone to work for 15 hours of the day. Then, when he is home, he keeps a good 20-30 feet distance from me. And I don't blame him. Mostly I don't want him to come down with this because there is nothing worse than a sick man in the house. LOL I have paid my dues--please, please don't let him get it.

Yesterday, when I was flat on my back-except when I was bent over retching, poor Tan-Mann was on his own. He was nice enough to call and report to his Dad each and every time I hung my head in the bucket though. The Mad-Sci found this to be funny. As did my Mother, who TanMann also made sure to notify of my illness. I felt horrible that he was left with nothing to do, and when I would crawl to the top of the living room stairway to check on him he was deeply engrossed in cooking shows!! He must have watched 2-3 hours of cooking on PBS. Could be worse I suppose.

T-Dogg came home and took over man of the house duties. He knows to bring me ice chips and he also managed to microwave dinner for himself and TanMann. I was very proud of him. I didn't actually see how everything turned out but at least they ate something. Plus it was one of the rare times that I had t.v. dinners in the house. Remember those? My Mother always had them, and I would too except for that if you ever read the labels, there is almost no nutritional value at all. So, last week at the grocery store I gave in, because the boys always beg for them and I bought a couple. They were mac&cheese with chicken nuggets and corn. I didn't check but there has to be some nutritional value in that.

At any rate, there were no fires or explosions in the microwave. So T-Dogg must have read the directions and served up dinner for his brother and himself. When the Mad-Sci came home he rewarded both boys for taking care of me and themselves with candy and beef jerky. WTH??
Sometimes I really wonder, what goes on inside the head of a Mad-Scientist.

real love

At 1:30a.m. in the morning here is what I do not like to hear:

TanMann: Mom, I can't stop throwing up.
Mom: (sleeping) mmmhmmm...WHAT? Are you sick?
TanMann: sadly shakes his little head yes
Mom: takes a breath (holy cow, what is that smell!) Did you get sick in your bed?
TanMann: again with the sad shake of his head

A smell permeated my house that two days later I am still trying to get out of my head or my nostrils. Many loads of laundry, a couple of showers and it is still with me. This is round 3 for me with the good ole stomach virus. I should not complain, it is TanMann's second trip down this road in less than 2 weeks and I am sure it is much less fun for him than me. Maybe. He didn't have clean up duty at 2 in the morning. On Valentines day no less, as the MadSci happily snored his way through the excitement and the smell. Do you detect sarcasm there? Good, you should. You see the MadSci forgot Valentines Day. No card-nuthin. It wouldn't be a big deal but it ticked me off that he isn't teaching my boys to what? I don't know..spend money to show your love. Ugh....

My ticked off feelings were made even worse when I stopped at the florist to by my Mother her carnations from the boys. She loves those flowers..and I know it and I NEVER forget. As we stood there I watched at least 20 guys come in with their kids. I was trying hard to keep control of my feelings. When we got back to our car I let out a lecture to my boys that they should never forget their Mom on Valentines Day-even if their Dad who apparently is very busy forgets. "See", I told them, "I am 44 years old and I still go home with Valentines for my Mom and Dad."

T-Dogg pipes up with. "Doesn't Grandpa always buy you chocolate for Valentines Day, Mom?"
Why yes he does son and it is a good thing too. I can always, always count on good ole Dad. And my Mom too I suppose. I am sure she is the one who makes him get up out of his chair and go buy his four daughters our Valentine. The point is, every year I get my little box of chocolates and I can count on it the same as I can count on the sun coming up every day.

So we spent Valentines day at my folks. It was a good day. A bit like Christmas for the boys though. They had been holding out on Thomas' birthday gifts since he had the dreaded flu on his birthday and they weren't coming within 5 miles of our house then. So between birthday gifts (both boys come out ahead on birthday-Grandma doesn't want the other one to feel left out-so they both get gifts) and all of the Valentines they give my boys the living room floor was strewn with clothes, toys and candy. The Mad-Sci called and said come home early and I'll take you out to dinner. Too little-too late..you missed the moment and it is no big deal. Yeah, right. LOL I was still ticked.

Later when the boys and I finally got home (well after 8 p.m.) Thomas surprised me with a brown paper bag that he had decorated with hearts. Seems he and my Mother conspired to put a gift together for me. It was very sweet of both of them and he was rewarded with hugs and kisses from me which he promptly tried to brush off. So I did get a valentine from someone other than my Dad. Sadly, it irked me more and I wanted to squish a chocolate in the mad-sci's face. But would I waste perfectly good chocolate? Not a chance!

All of this was rounded off by being waken up with a sick child in the middle of the night. I'll say this, it is a dang good thing I don't always act on my feelings. Otherwise the Mad-Sci would have found his happy snores interpreted by a pile of flu-germ ridden bed linens off of my child's bed, right on his head. But I maintained and trudged up and down the stairs to the laundry room, a bandanna tied over my face, carefully removed each time I had to stop and hold my baby as he was sick yet again. Any idea how much chocolate a 5 year old will stuff himself with on Valentines Day?? Oh, man I am sure I have made my point here. But my chocolate cravings are at a halt-probably until next year. And that, was my Valentines day.

Today there is no school. And yet again the flu threw a wrench in our gears. The boys and I had planned on taking the Mad-Sci to work, going out for breakfast and then I was to drop them off for a day with my niece. I was to be with my folks and my sisters as my Dad checked in for surgery today. Today my Dad is having his defibrillator put in. Not a huge surgery, not many risks but I am very sad I am not there. And worried. I hate being far away and I hate sitting here waiting for the phone to ring and keep me updated. Which my 3 sisters and my Mother will do. They know that I am way worried by not being there. It is just so much easier to be standing next to my Dad and seeing his eyes when he has surgery.

I was forced to make an adult decision. Stay home, make sure TanMann who is almost recovered gets better. That and exposing my Dad or my Mom to whatever lingering germs we have would not be good. So I am stuck here, my thoughts always with my Dad, trying to not let the kids know that I am worried because I have explained to T-Dogg over and over that his Papa is going to be fine and to TanMann again and again how the machine is helping Papa's heart work. In the mean time, T-Dogg is totally irritated that his brother being sick screwed up his plans for a fun day out of the house. Ahh to be a Mom...or is it to be a daughter..I don't know ......life sure can get tricky though.

Fabulous Friday the 13th

Way back when, 29 years ago, I went on my first date on Friday, February 13. Hard to believe now that my folks let me go,wish they hadn't. I ended up marrying that guy some 7 or 8 years later only to be divorced. Now, that's a different story..but Friday the 13th was our first date, a double date with my best friend and her boyfriend. I wound up in the hospital emergency room at 10:30p.m.. I left the hospital with 70 some stitches in my head. Now you think that would have been a clue...DON'T continue seeing this guy-but what did I do?? Married him. Ahh yes another of life's little lessons...nothing like getting knocked on the head and not paying attention. Ever since that Friday the 13th, and no I have never forgotten it, I stay home. Any Friday the 13th kind of bothers me if you want to know the truth. Never, Never would I watch those Friday the 13th movies.

I have lost touch with all of the people we were with that night. We were in a van, you know..carpet.stereo system, funky lights...disco time. I actually cut my head on a stereo speaker, a speaker that belonged in a home not a van, one of those big ones with woofers and all of that. LOL Woofers...couldn't tell ya what the heck that is I just remember my friend was "into" that. SO this morning as the sun came up I thought of my friend, the van and stereo speaker owner and sent him an email. He is some fancy real estate guy in Florida now. In my email I asked if he remembers the day. He replied with:
"Only about 5 or 10 times a day. Those speakers hang in my garage now but I am pretty sure your DNA is gone"
Hah! That made me laugh and changed my mood for the day.

I was having a rough morning. TDogg woke up an hour early which almost caused me heart failure. He never ever gets up early and I am usually dragging him out of bed. But our TanMann stayed at his friends last night and neither of us slept that well knowing we are missing a part of our link. Anyway, once TDogg was up and I told him how early he was he jumped up and said; "cool, now I can stand in the shower for an hour without you yelling" and off he went. OK...lol whatever floats your boat kid, I was just glad he thought to shower without me screaming about it. After his hour long or so shower, I had an omelet waiting for him. Omelette's are his latest fav for breakfast..and you know, I am here to please. (LOL) Then we played some Wii, I was kicking butt when he remembered that I had promised to let him wear red hair gel today. "Nooo", I said "we only have 5 minutes-not enough time". Let me tell you, once the kid gets an idea he does not back down. SO up we went to do the RED gel! I had him looking pretty dang handsome, he had a lil fohawk (similar style to a mohawk)going on that was all tinted red. And all of a sudden the kids switch flips. He hates it and my only goal in life is to make him look stupid! He then starts pushing it all down with his hands-which are then all covered with red gel and then the bus pulls up. Off he ran yelling something about how I only want him to look like a dork. Lord help us I thought. The kid has white blond hair, pale white skin and a bright white NEW T-shirt on. There was nothing I could do but sit here feeling like crap. I am still out of a vehicle so I couldn't even go rescue him and his hair. Looking back on the whole thing I think he all of a sudden had a panic moment and was worried how he looked. TDogg has always liked to stand out, do things his way. Up until this year....yikes...kids are just plain scary!

Last week end I had all of his friends here for his football birthday party. Which went quite well. Rowdy, but fun....we all had fun. I made TDogg my first ever ice cream cake because HE doesn't like real cake! Even that turned out well- a football field ice cream cake (patting self on back here since kids forgot). We went to bed at about 11 that night, totally exhausted but ready for the next day (his actual birth day) when my family would all be here to celebrate. At 3:30a.m. I woke up and I felt kind of sick but when I looked at the clock I thought; interesting, this is the exact time he was born and then I was back to dream land. At 6:30a.m. TDogg woke me up, and he doesn't feel good. At 6:45 I was holding his head over the throw-up bucket. "This stinks" he said in between ralphs in the bucket. I felt so bad for the poor kid. I laid with almost the whole day, holding him, wiping his face, emptying his bucket and praying to God (a whole lot) that please, please, dont let me get this.

And then it occurred to me. I had spent a good part of last week being sad that he is growing up so fast and that I don't want him to go away from me. I want him to always need me, always think that I am the most important girl in his life...and there you have it. What kid doesn't need there Mom more than when they are sick and throwing up. Careful what you wish for is the lesson there................

ps. I am happy to report that neither myself or the mad scientist have caught that bug. Knock on wood....cuz if the mad-sci gets it, you (female)folks know..that the man of the house is alwaysssssss going to have the bug worse than anyone else...just ask him.

Updates

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
— Victor Hugo


OK, so I admit...not a whole lot of laughter going on around here. Already we are on our way into the month of February and that does mean I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Winter will wind down soon but I am not fooled, I know Mother Nature can still blast us full force with more freezing temps and more of the white stuff. When in Minnesota though you look ahead, we tell each other if we get more snow it won't be here long. April is sure to bring Spring. We get a little teaser this week end with above freezing temps and rain predicted.

Funny how weather can be such a huge topic around here and for me it really doesn't matter what the weather is. During one of the last stretches of arctic temps (that means minus 30 temperatures) the Mad Sci blew the motor on our truck so we are down to just one vehicle. That means I am stuck here in the middle of the woods alone. It could be -50 and it makes no difference to me except for that I wont be making the walk out to the mailbox.

We are trying to decide what to do with the vehicle situation. Do we buy new, put a new motor in the truck, buy used??? Who knows. All I know is that the thought of a car payment makes me cringe, especially in this economy. Seems that Mad Sci's job is secure but who can count on anything right now. We will see how this plays out and who wins the battle here. You know there has to be a battle going on over this between the Mad Sci and myself. Not even going to get into that...may the best man (or WOMAN win)! Again I ask, President Obama, when do I get stimulated here?? The banks got it, the big auto guys got it ...where the heck is mine????

My lil TanMan has been home sick-very sick for 3 days now. The dreaded stomach flu has struck. I was called by the school nurse to come pick him up Monday.......but NO CAR HERE! Thank God for family and a close sister who bravely drove my little guy home walked him into the house where he immediately threw up. Thank you son, for holding that til you were out of your Aunt's fancy SUV! It is a rough flu, he was flat out until today and I am working on forcing fluids now.

Now please, please don't let it strike anyone else in this household. A birthday party with 10 little boys is on our schedule for this Saturday. T-Dog turns 9 this week end. It is crazy how fast the time has went. I remember his actual birth day like it was yesterday. Now he will be 9, is almost as tall as me and seems to think that his Mother knows nothing. It makes me sad how fast they grow and then I think only 9 more years and he is an adult. I am halfway to raising him up. Achh..that makes me want to cry. Look back at mistakes, tremble at the thoughts of mistakes still to made and sheer terror thinking of puberty and my child becoming a teenager.

Over the last week I attended teacher conferences for both boys and was pleasantly surprised. Both have adjusted well to their new school and are fitting in nicely. TanMan is doing great, I was concerned with him since he is a young kindergartner, having a birthday in the middle of August. His teacher tells me he is just fine and that I have made a good decision in not holding him back a year. Hooray for Mom!! T-Dog is doing well except for not applying himself like he should. This teacher reported that he does good work when he tries....getting him to try is the problem. We are working on making him responsible for himself as far as his school work. It isn't easy as a Mother to keep your mouth shut and not...well....nag. LOL There I said it......but if I don't nag can I just sit back and let him face the consequences?? Nope, being a parent never gets easier. I know the life of a child does not get easier as they reach middle school either. Lord, why did I wait til my 40s to have children??? Wait........I didn't wait..I tried and tried but you, Lord didn't bless me until then!! Now I figure I'll be experiencing menopause as my child reaches middle school. How scary is that???? Ooooh...wipe that thought clear out of my head...

So my Dad who first battled vocal cord cancer and then a triple heart bypass still keeps my mind busy with worry. Reports from the cancer docs are positive the heart docs are a little more scary. Apparently his heart is no stronger now than before the bypass. Friday we meet with doc to see if a defibrillator is in order. I think my Dad has finally realized that much of his health is up to him. He needs to put his books down and get up out of his chair!! Exercise and diet will hopefully keep him going. I can not and will not think of the alternative.

And then there is my Mother. Great reports regarding her breast cancer from a few years ago. (Is this glass half full or half empty?) A trip to the E.N.T. docs bring us to a nodule on her vocal cord. That is exactly where we were 3 years ago with my Dad and it took 2 more years before they diagnosed cancer. Now what are the odds that both my Mom and Dad would get vocal cord cancer? Hoping and praying it is not cancer and just something else...I don't know what else just don't let it be more cancer.
I am telling you I have had enough cancer and heart trouble going on around here. Yet, I am grateful because we are beating the battles.

Finally a list of things that I have learned in the nine years of being the Mother to two boys:

*Burping and farting, no matter where you are are a great source of laughter. The older they get the funnier it is..to them not to Mom.

*When sent upstairs to brush teeth, boys will stand at the sink, toothbrush in hand with water running but still not actually brush. A Mom has to be there to watch that the brush actually touches teeth. And yes, it is good ole Mom who gets "the look" from the dental hygenist when said boy is getting teeth cleaned andthen merrily skips out of there with Mom trailing, feeling like a failure.

*Boys can wear holes in the knees of jeans that are only 2 weeks old.

*By the time boys are 8, they are way to cool to wear boots-even if there is 2 feet of snow and it is thirty below.

*Boys can eventually get their Mom to spend 2 hours every Friday night watching WWE Smackdown wrestling...and Mom eventually ends up liking it

*It is NEVER cool for a Mom to point out that one of those smackdown wrestlers is kinda cute!

*As a Mom of boys who are way cooler than their Mom ever was it is your job to just make them look like dorks. Just ask my son, he will tell you that is my goal in life.

*Although it is NEVER cool to hug or kiss your babies in public when they are at home sick and flowing with germs you are expected to hug, hold and kiss away those germs in between cleaning up vomit. Expect that if those germs stick on you, the Mom...you are on your own.

and they say it is a new day

I have spent a good part of the morning in front of my television. A lot of that time was also spent trying to get my two little boys to sit and watch with me. They don’t understand that they are watching history as it is made. Finally, I just tell them to just sit and watch so tomorrow when your teachers ask you can say that yes you did watch Obama.

I do understand that they don’t see the importance of today. After all I don’t ever recall any president being sworn in either. I couldn’t even tell you if I have ever in my life sat down and watched the event.

I try and explain to the kids why it is important and I think all that I managed was for TanMan to understand that today is Obama’s first day on the job and that Bush is no longer the President.

I have never been very involved in politics. When the Mad-Sci held a position on a local city council, I hated it. Never was it more obvious that people are really only out for what will better their own lives. Even on a much smaller scale it is all still the same. People have their own agendas and that is what motivates them. I can't be sure that people really do care about their neighbor-and sometimes not even their own family.

So anyway, today as I watch history, I wonder will it ever really change. Obama may be a new face in the crowd but every one around him is still the same. Career politicians. It is great to hear the speeches about love and unity and fighting on as one nation but me ever being the pessimist wonders…..

Will the man sleeping under the bridge be led to a warm bed tonight and wake up able to work tomorrow?

Will the families here waiting from someone to come home from Iraq suddenly be given the finances they need to continue on?

Will our new crew of leaders suddenly sprout halos and be honest, law abiding citizens?

Will the poor old couple suddenly get relief and have their much needed prescriptions filled and have their refrigerator full at the same time?

The people you see in front of you at the store buying groceries with food stamps, tomorrow will they find a way to start supporting their family?

The poor abused or neglected children of our nation-will they suddenly be saved from the horrors they endure?

No, none of those things will change. The bad guys will always be the bad guys, the good will always be good. And the politicians will always be just that. I have a hard time imagining that President Obama is going to change the world. I also don’t think it really matters what color his skin is. That never did play into how I felt about this whole election thing. I already knew that the times had changed. That no matter your color, you can be what you set your mind to. I watch my children, especially my 8 year old. He doesn’t even know what racism is. Good or bad-he doesn’t know it. Because I don’t let him know it and neither do our schools.

I work hard, my family and friends all work hard. We sometimes struggle, sometimes we struggle a lot. Do I think the new President or any of the old really have an impact on my daily life? Not so much. I think that they are all so out of touch with the real world that it is hard for me to even imagine them making a difference anywhere-except in their own pockets.

I will say it is an awesome thing to see though-that so many Americans come together to hear about peace and unity. That as a nation we are getting back to it. Maybe there is a change in the works…I just know that it will be years, and that I still need to feed my own children, figure out how to purchase the next load of fuel for my home to keep the babies warm. Will our health insurance be enough to keep us safe and healthy? Then, in my mind, I see some bank executive lying on the beach letting MY government bail his sorry butt out.

My neck of the woods....

thought I would share a article from our local news station...you there, laying on the beach...think of me....


Jan 13, 2009 11:59 am US/Central

Schools Close, Cars Crash In Blistering Cold
MINNEAPOLIS (AP) ―

The thermometer said it was 38 degrees below zero. The National Weather Service said the wind chill was negative 58. But Robert Cameron and Keith Anderson still left their homes in the far northwestern Minnesota city of Hallock on Tuesday to meet a group of friends for a morning coffee at the Cenex service station."It's really not so bad," said Cameron, 75. "We've got clothing that goes with the weather. ... We're ready and rolling, no matter what.""It's so beautiful," said Anderson, 66. "There's not a cloud in the sky."Bone chilling temperatures were recorded throughout the state Tuesday, thanks to a combination of clear skies, light winds and a pool of Arctic air and fresh snow that fell in the area a day earlier, said Tony Zaleski, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service.At about 8 a.m., the temperatures were minus 40 in International Falls, negative 35 in Roseau, negative 34 in Bemidji, minus 29 in Crookston and negative 23 in Duluth. Rochester had an air temperature of minus 18 and a wind chill of negative 41.The mercury was at 18 degrees below zero in Minneapolis, with a wind chill of minus 32.Several schools throughout the state started late or closed due to the cold. And the National Weather Service advised Minnesotans to bundle up -- exposed flesh can freeze in 10 minutes when the wind chill is 40 degrees below zero or colder.Up in Hallock, people were scurrying to their vehicles a little quicker than usual, and the gas pump at the Cenex station froze up at least once.Terrie Franks, assistant manager at the station, had the brutal chore of going out to unfreeze the pump for a customer. But she took it all in stride, saying she experimented a little earlier in the year and found that good old de-icer spray -- the kind you use to unfreeze a vehicle lock -- worked like a charm and made her runs outside about 10 times shorter than they used to be."Within minutes it thaws up and it gives you enough give in the trigger itself to pump gas," said Franks, who spoke to The Associated Press by phone just minutes after helping a customer with a frozen pump."You definitely have to have gloves on because touching the cold metal -- your hands are frozen," she said, adding that she often has to run outside quickly. "You don't have much time to be dressing up to get out there. You have customers waiting. They have places to be."Inside the warmth of the Cenex station, Cameron, Anderson, and others in their group gathered for their daily brew."We try to stick each other for coffee," Cameron said of the morning gatherings. He said he met his breakfast group earlier in the day, and most of the regulars showed up, despite the cold."Everyone's driving with caution. It's a little slippery. ... We're all survivors."Anderson found a different way to survive -- he's leaving town at the end of the week, escaping to Las Vegas, then Yuma, Ariz., for a couple of months."The cold doesn't bother me," he said. "But it's nice to get away, too."In the Twin Cities metro area, black ice was a problem during the morning commute. The Minnesota Department of Transportation urged motorists to use caution, after a morning filled with crashes, rollovers and spinouts. One crash, on Highway 212 near Cologne, involved a snowplow, said Kent Barnard, a MnDOT spokesman.He said MnDOT had 204 snowplows in the metro area on Tuesday. The plows were laying down sand and granite chips to provide traction for vehicles -- because it was so cold the salt usually used on roadways won't melt the ice.Barnard stressed it's time to "slow down, quit tailgating, watch out for our plows."Back in Hallock, Mark Johnson, vice president of Johnson Oil Co., said the extreme cold isn't too bad, and once it gets to a certain point, the degrees don't matter. For example, he said, 38 degrees below zero isn't much different than 24 degrees below zero."We're kind of acclimated to it up here up in this country," he said. "Each year, sometime during the winter, it's going to get to this point. Just as long as it doesn't stay like this for a whole month, you can deal with the day-to-day getting through it."The forecast calls for a little reprieve from the severe cold on Tuesday night, with temperatures climbing above zero on Wednesday. But by Wednesday night, the cold temperatures are expected to return.

Happy, Happy Hump Day!

Happy Hump Day! Boy, the days are just flying by, the first week of January complete. And let me just say, today is a happy day for me. Remember, it is always the small things that make my day.

I spent the day working, making cold calls for our business. Doing cold calls is my least favorite thing in the world to do. It was a long day with both boys off to school. Our morning went pretty well, no running like crazy people to meet the bus. Both boys got up with pretty good attitudes. Both agreed on oatmeal and bacon for breakfast and I pinched myself to make sure it all wasn't a dream.

I stood waiting at the window for the bus to drop off the boys. Our driveway is long so I always watch to make sure they both get off. Today I saw that TDog was carrying a paper. Uh oh I thought, what is that??? Bad news? Did he get in trouble?? As he came closer I could see by the two sheets he was carrying that it was his spelling test. When he noticed me standing in the window he waved that paper in the air and ran up to the house. I breathed a sigh of relief. I yanked open the door and asked how many????? Only one wrong!!! Hooray!!! It was the word scientists and after closer inspection he had the word spelled scientis -he left off the two last letters! I am not ashamed (although TDOG probably is) to say I had a big lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

So there you have it. The power of Wii. TDog took this same test on Monday and had 8 out of 15 wrong. The deal is - no Wii unless he has 1 or less wrong on his tests. He now gets to rent a Wii game for the week. It cost me $5.99 per game for 5 days. It feels a little like I am buying him off, but man, I'll take it. I know the kid has the capabilities to do well he just needs motivation. The Wii is the first video game I have allowed in our home and I only did that because it is an active game. Although after this last week end, when I foolishly allowed him to rent a WWE Smackdown Wrestling game, I was second guessing myself.

Now that TDog only had 1 wrong, Friday's test puts him up in the challenge word category. Much harder words but he is at this very moment working on them! Maybe only a Mom gets this, but when you see your child take on a challenge and thensucceed it makes everything so worth it. Any mom reading this will also know what I mean by "everything"! Dad's might get it too, I suppose. However, here is the conversation between the Mad Sci and myself when I called to report the good news:

Me: Guess what!!??
Him: What? What happened now?
Me: TDog got off the bus holding his spelling test.
Him: How bad this time?
Me: It was great, I cried even.
Him: WTH? You cried? What are you talking about??
Me: He only got 1 wrong and it was scientists
Him: Oh yeah? That's great, let me talk to him.
Me: OK...finally something good in my life.
Him:okkkkkkkk but just between you and me, I couldn't spell scientist if my life depended on it!!
Me: I know- but he doesn't need to know that!!

I need to explain.......the mad scientist, he can fix or build just about anything. He is an inventor and creates things that make you shake your head in wonder. He knows geography (which I suck at) and is very good at both history and current events. He is one of those crazy people with a genius mind but cannot spell because it just isn't important to him- which we are both doing our best to keep from the kids. LOL

Reading this you may be thinking that I have crossed a new line as far as being just out right lame. That's what my 8 year old will say. But I'm feeling pretty dang proud and I take those when they come...and then let em make my day!!