“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
―Robert Frost

So, it has been forever and a day since I have written here. Life is busy. Things have changed and yet they have stayed the same. How profound is that? The boys are almost a month into school and all seems well on that end. The business is, well, still the business. Still trudging along. Or at least the Mad-Sci is trudging while dragging me along. Honestly, I am pretty fed up with it. I am hoping the guys who have been trying to make a deal with us to come in and take over do just that. I made a decision to make a life for me! Just me. For so long I have been working my tail off to see the mad-sci and his dream come to life that I have finally just come to the end. So I picked my lazy rear end up and started to make things happen.

When I was 15 years old, my first job was in a nursing home. And I loved it. I knew then even at that age what I should do with my life. But did I listen to my own self? Of course not. I went down some crazy road that was never ever in my plan. I made some decisions and even became successful at one of my choices in a career. But I walked away when I met the mad-sci 16 years ago. (I hated that career, making all kinds of money for someone else while they just pressure you for more. ) And ever since it has been his goal I have worked for. So a big kick in the pants to my self.

I have taken a job in a group home. I am working with 4 severely handicapped, low functioning individuals. And I have to say, it all feels right. My next step? School! I have to get my nerve up and start that process. Because at the ripe old age of 45 I have come back to what I knew at 15 years of age. It feels great too. Everyone who knows me well has a hard time understanding that this is what I like. I like to work a job that really doesn't seem like a job. Caring for another human being while respecting their dignity gives me a new perspective on life. To have a job where I can give to someone by just doing the simple things in life that most take for granted is pretty rewarding for me. To feed someone, dress and wash them make sure all meds are taken may not seem like much to some. But for me, I know I am doing what I should be doing and there is a kind of peace that comes with that.

I have to say the first day I worked, I stood there, wide eyed, holding back tears. So many things went through my head. This could be one of my family members or it could be me. It was hard to see a human being live with such great disability. The second day I slid right into my groove. Making a grown person who has the function of a 2 year old smile is pretty rewarding. Being able to dress a 160 pound human being while he lays flat on his back and not able to help himself at all is huge! Some get this and some don't. But this is where I belong.

The biggest thing i have learned at this point. I am going to do whatever it takes to drill into my children's heads that you need to do what you know your head and your heart are saying to you. Never ever go against your own heart.