Spring.will it ever be?

It has been forever and a day since I have sat down here to write. I have tried to keep up on my reading but have done poorly at that too. It is the time of the year- I do poorly at almost everything. LOL How is that for a nice positive entry?

I finally am able to see grass...soft, mushy, muddy, grass. But I don't have to shovel it so I will be quiet and not complain. I think we are on day 3 of rain, with measurable amounts of snow forecasted for this week end. Now ain't that just dandy. I need Spring, and I don't mean windy, rainy Spring. I need sunshine, tree budding, wild animals mating Spring. C'mon Mother Nature let me have it.

Winter can get to be a little bit depressing for me, in case you haven't noticed. Everything feels just a little bit darker, a little bit harder, and all an uphill battle. Then I sit back and think, is it just the time of year or is it the time of life I am in? My little boys need me less and less every day and my folks need me more and more.

A couple weeks back the boys and I took a trip to Iowa for my Nephew and his little girl's birthday parties, We have to make the trip in one day-there and back, because my Dad refuses to stay away from home any longer than that. So drive 5 hours, celebrate birthdays for 2 hours, then drive back 5 more hours. It was on this trip that I was forced to accept that my Dad is changing. My Dad, who never in my whole life has been lost while driving, had us lost. He was calm, my Mother was spazzing out, my boys were wild Indian's after just spending hours in the car..and I was in the very back seat of my folks van with reality slapping me hard across the face. My Dad wasn't admitting he was lost nor was he denying it. It was hard to watch him, I could see the look of confusion on his face. The look of denial on my mothers face. Sad, I tell you. Reality-well it just sucks! Much of his memory loss is due to his open heart surgery and the docs warned us of it. But I cannot help wondering how much of the surgery is the cause or if it is just the normal way life will proceed for my Dad. What I do know is that I am not ready to deal. Why do I have to? I don't want to. I want my Dad to be the guy who knows everything and can do everything. Just like he has always been my whole life. I want him to make up an answer to the question I ask when he doesn't really know the answer. I don't want to see that my Dad is becoming a little old man who is just as scared at what lies ahead as I am.

Flip side. Man, my boys are growing too fast. Last week, after a little trouble at school, TDog informs me that I can't stop him from hanging around with whoever he wants. "You wanna bet on it? I can control a whole lot more than you think, Son- do not push me!!" Now didn't I handle that well??? Good Lord. Words are coming out of my mouth that leave even me shocked. The Mad-Sci, he just smiles and quietly exits the room. I don't know but my feelings were bruised-a lot - when my now 9 year old informed me: "you only want me to look like a dork, just like you!"
Yes, oh child of mine, I have not slept an entire night through in the last nine years, have wiped your butt, your nose and held your head over the throw up bucket-JUST SO I CAN MAKE YOU INTO A DORK! arghhhhhhhhhh

So,feeling like the cool and groovy Mom that I am...........lets go ROLLERSKATING!
Honestly, I had a great time! It had been over 20 years since I was on roller skates. Came home with a bruise on my rear end that was the size of a small bread plate and could barely drive for a week from a bruised wrist-but I did have fun. And occasionally TDog let me skate within 3 feet of him! My baby Tanner loves me still and skated constantly with me, round and round while holding my hand. (Sweet lil thing when will you grow up to think I am a dork too?) And you know, I do remember the roller rink. That's where the boys start trying to be real cool for those cute little girls who want to take my babies from me!! But I maintained and if girls were near I skated right past-like I didn't even know that cute little blond kid that I gave life to. My attempt at playing tag with the older boys is how my wrist got so sore. I hit that dang wall very hard. Good thing the wall was there or I'd still be flying along in those skates. Had a memory lapse in stopping there for a minute but I recovered and my wrist reminded for a week after on how not to stop on roller skates.

The whole month of February the stomach flu wreaked havoc on my household. Another little blessing of Minnesota winters. The germs stay bottled up in your house and just keep going round and round. March has brought us into head colds and coughs. A whole lotta hacking going on here at night. And never forget the virus. What the heck? Never heard of a virus when I was a kid...but it seems every other day someone has a new virus here at my house. Yes, we go to the doc, pay the office visit deductible only to have mister smiley doc say;"oh, a virus, wait 5-7 days and come back if it isn't any better." ackkkk I hate that-cant they give us shots in the butt or something to make this end??? I am sure when I was a kid we got shots in the rear when we were sick. Not any more though..now Moms all over Minnesota suffer through winter virus's. Over and Over again. Flu shots?? What the heck for, we don't get the flu-we get a VIRUS!!

So, if you are still reading this I am sure by now you are thinking it was kind of nice when it was so quiet from my corner of the world. Never fear, Spring is bound to arrive and then I will be back to my happy ass old self!! HAH! Well, I'll get to get outside, dig in my gardens anyway and a little dirt therapy always does me good!