A couple weeks ago I thought..well, if I only post monthly, is that so bad? Now I've even passed up that deadline. Seriously, I don't know how those 'Mom Blogger's" out there manage to post everyday. Plus they go on all those exotic vacations with a zillion kids in tow. I've got two boys and no fancy schmancy vacation going on and although I get extra kids around here occasionally, I don't have what some other Mom's have going on. And yet, I still feel as if I am on a tread mill where I cannot reach the speed dial. There used to be a time when I found reading a zillion blogs was inspiring-kept me positive, ya know?? Now, it seems to be the flashing light of inadequacy of my life! BUT...never been a quitter so here I am ...writing again. (If you want to call it writing..::Flash:: Flash::
My kids and I just got back from 2 days of a mini vacation. We went with my folks to visit my aunt and uncle at their lake home which is just about 2 hours away from me. We packed in the fun--I covered as much ground as I could for my boys and am indebted to all who made it possible. We fished-from the dock and from the boat, we went out to dinner and played the required "up north, resort video games", rode 4 wheelers, swam and pulled the boys around the lake in tubes, and I ate..man, did I eat. It was a great time and we were all exhausted. It was a huge sacrifice for my Dad, who never wants to leave home and if he does, he races back home as fast as possible. He managed to suck it up for my boys and we stayed overnight and he didn't return back to his chair until early the next evening!!
Every summer about this time (2 weeks before school starts) I start to worry-worry that my boys will be disappointed in life. That I didn't plan enough, that they didn't get anything special out of their summer vacation. The Mad-Sci says to knock it off because they are so spoiled already that they should be grateful. This is a huge argument for us. I always want to give more and he says they should be satisfied with what they have. I don't know, maybe it is just the difference between a mom and a dad. Or maybe the flashing lights in his inadequacy sign burned out leaving more juice for my flashing lights??
Whatever. T-Dogg had a great baseball season this year. His team won his league standings, the league tournament and made it to the state tournament. I played ball for well over 30 years and never made it to a state tourney!! So I was pumped!! His team started out like wild fire, winning their first two games. The third game...well..they lost before they began. We got to the field looked at the other team - all who were inches taller than our whole team and 90% of them were African American. (Is that politically correct now??I can never remember). Honestly I do not want to offend anyone it is just that it never occurred to me before but my boys do live a pretty sheltered life. We live an hour for any major city and frankly-it is pretty much white. No big deal and I teach my kids about the world and what is out there and that we are all created equal-people are all different whether it me color, language or religion. But when the boys on our team looked across the field at the opposing team, a couple of us moms laughed. We knew what the kids were thinking and we knew we had just lost the game. In the end it didn't matter because the kids had a great experience and they worked hard to get where they were (not as hard as their Mothers worked to get them there, mind you). A lot of the boys on our team cried, which I suppose for 9 and 1o year old boys is understandable. It is frustrating to lose. My TDogg didn't cry though. He stomped over to our truck, threw his equipment in and locked the doors. Refused to talk to our family members who came to cheer him on. Silly boy-his older boy cousins are never going to let him forget that. Which is what those cousins are for I guess.
This summer we had another life lesson brought home. It was very serious and very sad. And I floundered for a while. A friend of T-Doggs, one of his first friends in pre-school has had a terrible time of things. And that is an understatement. While watching the news one evening, it is flashed across the screen about a murder/suicide in our area. Sketchy details but enough so this family flashed through my mind. I told myself no and didn't mention it to TDogg who was watching with me. The next day when the pictures and names were all over the television and newspapers I had to give my boys an explanation. The Dad strangled the Mother and then hung himself while 2 out of the 3 children watched. These were people that TDogg knew, had been to their house to play. I explained as best I could, prayed like crazy for those children and TDogg seems to be o.k. with it. It has been 2 weeks and I cannot quit thinking of it. It won't get out of my head. The kids or the Mother and even the Dad. So much suffering before and after.
Happier thoughts. I had a nephew, get married this summer. The boys and I traveled to Wisconsin for the wedding. TanMan had never been to a wedding. So we had fun, once the actual ceremony was over anyway. Apparently little boys are not to excited over wedding ceremonies. After TanMan asked me,"Mom, why do they say you may kiss the bride at a wedding?" Before I could reply he said "I mean, who else would you kiss?" As I sit trying to think up something really smart to tell the boys as we are driving down the road Tdogg pipes up with "Yeah, why don't they say...wait, what's the boy name for the person getting married?" I say "GROOM" hoping we are going to take a different direction and then TDogg says "Yeah, that's it, GROOM...why don't they say you can kiss the groom???"
Why do they have to always make my brain hurt so much? Incidentally 2 weeks after the wedding it has been announced that there is a new baby on the way. Thomas thinks they made a baby awfully fast. Why, yes son, yes they did.
Two weeks until school starts. My Mother wants to know if I am going to wait until the last minute to get school supplies? Shouldn't I already be done with that? Geesh I have almost all of their schools clothes bought and hid. Yes, hid! Apparently my Mother doesn't remember what it is like to have your kids drive you nuts wanting to wear their new shoes, underwear and backpacks before the first day of school. Glue sticks can wait because I think the list from school says they need 85 sticks of glue...what the heck who all am I supplying with supplies? Actually, I love buying school supplies but I am learning and I know, if I don't want to have to buy the supplies twice before school even starts, to just wait and they wont have time to use them before the actual first day of school. Just like I have learned when we are shopping for clothes, if I just stand there with my mouth shut, 9 times out of 10 TDogg will pick stuff I like. If I try and direct him at all he goes way off the board trying to make me nuts with his style. Took me 10 years but now I know, whatever I say-he is going to do the opposite. Just to flex his rights. So. I'll shut up.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Surviving Summer
Where does the time go?
Another long gap between posts here for me. The summer months seem too just get away from me. I suppose having two very active children will do that to you. I kind of disappoint myself when I say that I am ready for the whole baseball thing to be over. I love baseball-I played ball from the age of 7 until 25. The mad-sci and I played a couple seasons of co-ed ball when I was in my 30s but I don't really count it since all we really won were the beer trophy's. A sign of the times-my times. Before children times. Whatever, this year T-Dog's season seems to be dragging on forever. Next year will be more of a challenge when both boys are playing. I am in the home stretch now though, 2 more games and one more week end tournament. So that has my thoughts turning to school starting and all the preparation I need to do for that.
It has been a strange time in the world. Losing Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson has had me thinking just how fast time gets away. Gosh, those two were both icons in my time. It was sad to lose them-although I have to say I did not spend 4-6 hours yesterday in front of my television. Since they really weren't a part of my life I did not spend a great amount of time mourning them. I probably spent more time mourning for myself and just how fast time has sped by. Seems like yesterday when all the guys were trying to do the moon walk at our junior high school dances. That and the fact that one of my best buddies from junior high left a message on my facebook asking; "where have you been? I have been looking for you for 27 years?"
Twenty seven years???? Really? How do 27 years speed by like that?
Imagine my Mom and Dad, who on the 4th of July celebrated their 56th wedding anniversary. Then this coming Saturday my Mother celebrates her 75th birthday. If I am freakin about how much time has passed I can only imagine how my folks are feeling. I can remember sitting at the lunch table in the 4th grade and discussing with my friends how old our Moms are. My Mom was 40 at the time-and she was old. LOL Life plays those tricks I guess...at 45 years old I am thinking geesh 75 isn't THAT old!
What makes me feel old is this:
Sitting on a curb watching my hometown 4th of July parade with my kids, my Mother and one of my sisters and a float passes by. "Look at all the pretty girls" I say to my boys who both look away and pretend they don't hear me. Imagine my surprise (and T-Dogs) as one of those pretty girls on the float stands up and yells: "THOMAS!"
Yep, some junior princess on a float knows my baby. My sister would have taken a picture but she couldn't decide who (T-Dog or his Mom) had the better look of surprise. I am pretty sure if there would have been a hole big enough my baby would have crawled right in and buried himself. He gave me 'the look" and I am smart enough to not say one word. I recovered pretty well, kept my mouth shut and just raised an eyebrow. "Awww Mom, I knew her in 2nd grade" Thomas says (with a pink tinted face). Oh well second grade.... that was like.......... eons ago.
I wish I could make my boys understand how fast time really does go by. But I know they will learn it as I have. I just wish they knew so they could hold each moment a little more and not rush to grow up. I'd like that for my boys.
Why do so many years have to pass us by before we learn the really important stuff?
A picture taken 5 years ago when I took the
boys to Idaho for a wedding. Twenty-five
hours (one way) in a car and TanMan wasn't
even 1 year old. We are sitting outside the
church and it was 103 degrees when this
picture was taken. I look a whole lot better
than how I was really feeling at that point.
Another long gap between posts here for me. The summer months seem too just get away from me. I suppose having two very active children will do that to you. I kind of disappoint myself when I say that I am ready for the whole baseball thing to be over. I love baseball-I played ball from the age of 7 until 25. The mad-sci and I played a couple seasons of co-ed ball when I was in my 30s but I don't really count it since all we really won were the beer trophy's. A sign of the times-my times. Before children times. Whatever, this year T-Dog's season seems to be dragging on forever. Next year will be more of a challenge when both boys are playing. I am in the home stretch now though, 2 more games and one more week end tournament. So that has my thoughts turning to school starting and all the preparation I need to do for that.
It has been a strange time in the world. Losing Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson has had me thinking just how fast time gets away. Gosh, those two were both icons in my time. It was sad to lose them-although I have to say I did not spend 4-6 hours yesterday in front of my television. Since they really weren't a part of my life I did not spend a great amount of time mourning them. I probably spent more time mourning for myself and just how fast time has sped by. Seems like yesterday when all the guys were trying to do the moon walk at our junior high school dances. That and the fact that one of my best buddies from junior high left a message on my facebook asking; "where have you been? I have been looking for you for 27 years?"
Twenty seven years???? Really? How do 27 years speed by like that?
Imagine my Mom and Dad, who on the 4th of July celebrated their 56th wedding anniversary. Then this coming Saturday my Mother celebrates her 75th birthday. If I am freakin about how much time has passed I can only imagine how my folks are feeling. I can remember sitting at the lunch table in the 4th grade and discussing with my friends how old our Moms are. My Mom was 40 at the time-and she was old. LOL Life plays those tricks I guess...at 45 years old I am thinking geesh 75 isn't THAT old!
What makes me feel old is this:
Sitting on a curb watching my hometown 4th of July parade with my kids, my Mother and one of my sisters and a float passes by. "Look at all the pretty girls" I say to my boys who both look away and pretend they don't hear me. Imagine my surprise (and T-Dogs) as one of those pretty girls on the float stands up and yells: "THOMAS!"
Yep, some junior princess on a float knows my baby. My sister would have taken a picture but she couldn't decide who (T-Dog or his Mom) had the better look of surprise. I am pretty sure if there would have been a hole big enough my baby would have crawled right in and buried himself. He gave me 'the look" and I am smart enough to not say one word. I recovered pretty well, kept my mouth shut and just raised an eyebrow. "Awww Mom, I knew her in 2nd grade" Thomas says (with a pink tinted face). Oh well second grade.... that was like.......... eons ago.
I wish I could make my boys understand how fast time really does go by. But I know they will learn it as I have. I just wish they knew so they could hold each moment a little more and not rush to grow up. I'd like that for my boys.
Why do so many years have to pass us by before we learn the really important stuff?
A picture taken 5 years ago when I took the
boys to Idaho for a wedding. Twenty-five
hours (one way) in a car and TanMan wasn't
even 1 year old. We are sitting outside the
church and it was 103 degrees when this
picture was taken. I look a whole lot better
than how I was really feeling at that point.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
"Years teach us more than books."
—Berthold Auerbach
Summer vacation is rolling along.
Last week the boys and I attended our local library annual Summer kick off reading program. TDog was not happy that I made him go. "Probably going to be all dorks there, all little kids." he said. Well much to his surprise the kick off was a reptile show.
Reptiles..take that son! Now, TDog might have been one of the few older boys BUT it was REPTILES!! Gosh, being able to say "I told you so" even if it is to one of my babies sure feels good.
After we headed to or our Wally World store for groceries. I swear my boys behaved better when they were 3 years old than they do now. Now, I come out of that big honkin' Chinese supplied store looking like a frazzled old women. And my boys? Lately they come out of there with lost privileges. HAH! Grounded..and who pays more? Me or them? Obvious answer for any Mom.
I write all of that to get to this:
While we were checking out our groceries in the new 'serve yourself lane' which my kids think is just about the coolest thing ever. Scan your own groceries? Awesome...and the fight breaks out over who gets to scan and we quickly have a Walmart worker there trying to check our bags for missed items. Argh....both boys are banished to the side of the cart. It is at this point TanMan sees one of his little school mates:
TanMan: Colton, HEY COLTON!!
Colton: (smiles) hi Tanner
TanMan: You should have been at school today. They had snakes and lizards and turtles!!
Colton: (huh?)
TanMan: It was so cool, I got to touch everything too
Colton: Oh, my Dad doesn't have any money.
TanMan: They had a snake thissssss big (hold arms out)
Of course when the child replied with my Dad doesn't have any money, I find myself face to face with his Dad. I froze as the man and I looked right into each others eyes. He had his two children with him and an older lady. Probably his Mother or maybe not..maybe just someone helping him to buy groceries. I could see the look in that mans eye. Defeat. Embarrassment. I was having a hard time. I certainly didn't want to make the man feel worse. Really, what I wanted to do was to go over and hug the man. To tell him I know how it feels, I have been there. Please don't feel this way-keep moving forward.
Over the years as the Mad-Sci and I have worked at raising our children and to get a business off the ground. We have struggled-and struggled is a nice word for it. The Mad Sci has had to take work that he hates, have companies close down, been laid off. It has been one set back after another. If it weren't for my folks there were times that my children would have been hungry. I am lucky that my Mom and Dad have always been there for my kids and for me. Many times I kept it a secret (or so I thought) and my Mom and Dad would pull into our driveway and hand me money or groceries or just something new and special for my boys.
"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."
—J. Paul Getty
I know how that man at Walmart felt. I know his kids had an idea of the situation but I could see he was doing what he could to shield them. That little boy didn't really understand what "no money" meant. I know he has probably overheard the struggles. But he was a clean, smiling little boy. After they checked out the man and lady walked by me with his two kids skipping along after them.
I have had a hard time getting that man and his eyes out of my head. I wish I would have had some saving comment to make to him. But I was just frozen. I only hope that he read my eyes as well as I read his. I know your pain-please don't give up and stay strong for the kids.
Easier said than done....
It is a scary time to be raising children. I watch other people who drive brand new SUV's, their kids in designer clothes, riding 4 wheelers and signed up for every summer program available. Do they get it? Are their kids learning what my kids and the man at Walmart and his kids are learning? I know my kids, especially Tdog, get frustrated that they can't do everything they want, that we can't go to Florida on vacation or that they don't have a 4 wheeler to rip around on our land with. They think I am nagging when I try to explain saving gas or to not waste that full glass of milk! They get ticked when every time I pass McDonalds or a store that I don't just wheel right in and buy them a treat.
It is hard to feel that you are letting your children down. And then I think, maybe I am teaching my children something more something better. I have to really stand back and take a deep breath to get to this because struggling is just so damn hard. BUT I want to think that I am teaching my kids the important things. Things like; compassion, how to look out for each other, what it means to be a family, how important going to school is and to try and do well at it. To NEVER give up!
As I look around at the world, all of the jobs being lost, the people losing their homes and the general state of things. Sometimes I have to laugh to myself. The Mad-Sci and I have been dealing with this for a while sooooo that just puts us that much further ahead. The state of the economy probably is more painful for others-only because I am used to it. The people running our Country really have no idea....and I believe never will. Most ( I can't think of one) will never see the struggles I have.
I don't know..they may have the power and the money...but I like to think I have the wisdom. I also know that I can look at the man next to me struggling and look with compassion. Hopefully so can my children.
"When you come to the edge of all the light you have and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on or you will be taught to fly."
Patrick Overt
—Berthold Auerbach
Summer vacation is rolling along.
Last week the boys and I attended our local library annual Summer kick off reading program. TDog was not happy that I made him go. "Probably going to be all dorks there, all little kids." he said. Well much to his surprise the kick off was a reptile show.
Reptiles..take that son! Now, TDog might have been one of the few older boys BUT it was REPTILES!! Gosh, being able to say "I told you so" even if it is to one of my babies sure feels good.
After we headed to or our Wally World store for groceries. I swear my boys behaved better when they were 3 years old than they do now. Now, I come out of that big honkin' Chinese supplied store looking like a frazzled old women. And my boys? Lately they come out of there with lost privileges. HAH! Grounded..and who pays more? Me or them? Obvious answer for any Mom.
I write all of that to get to this:
While we were checking out our groceries in the new 'serve yourself lane' which my kids think is just about the coolest thing ever. Scan your own groceries? Awesome...and the fight breaks out over who gets to scan and we quickly have a Walmart worker there trying to check our bags for missed items. Argh....both boys are banished to the side of the cart. It is at this point TanMan sees one of his little school mates:
TanMan: Colton, HEY COLTON!!
Colton: (smiles) hi Tanner
TanMan: You should have been at school today. They had snakes and lizards and turtles!!
Colton: (huh?)
TanMan: It was so cool, I got to touch everything too
Colton: Oh, my Dad doesn't have any money.
TanMan: They had a snake thissssss big (hold arms out)
Of course when the child replied with my Dad doesn't have any money, I find myself face to face with his Dad. I froze as the man and I looked right into each others eyes. He had his two children with him and an older lady. Probably his Mother or maybe not..maybe just someone helping him to buy groceries. I could see the look in that mans eye. Defeat. Embarrassment. I was having a hard time. I certainly didn't want to make the man feel worse. Really, what I wanted to do was to go over and hug the man. To tell him I know how it feels, I have been there. Please don't feel this way-keep moving forward.
Over the years as the Mad-Sci and I have worked at raising our children and to get a business off the ground. We have struggled-and struggled is a nice word for it. The Mad Sci has had to take work that he hates, have companies close down, been laid off. It has been one set back after another. If it weren't for my folks there were times that my children would have been hungry. I am lucky that my Mom and Dad have always been there for my kids and for me. Many times I kept it a secret (or so I thought) and my Mom and Dad would pull into our driveway and hand me money or groceries or just something new and special for my boys.
"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."
—J. Paul Getty
I know how that man at Walmart felt. I know his kids had an idea of the situation but I could see he was doing what he could to shield them. That little boy didn't really understand what "no money" meant. I know he has probably overheard the struggles. But he was a clean, smiling little boy. After they checked out the man and lady walked by me with his two kids skipping along after them.
I have had a hard time getting that man and his eyes out of my head. I wish I would have had some saving comment to make to him. But I was just frozen. I only hope that he read my eyes as well as I read his. I know your pain-please don't give up and stay strong for the kids.
Easier said than done....
It is a scary time to be raising children. I watch other people who drive brand new SUV's, their kids in designer clothes, riding 4 wheelers and signed up for every summer program available. Do they get it? Are their kids learning what my kids and the man at Walmart and his kids are learning? I know my kids, especially Tdog, get frustrated that they can't do everything they want, that we can't go to Florida on vacation or that they don't have a 4 wheeler to rip around on our land with. They think I am nagging when I try to explain saving gas or to not waste that full glass of milk! They get ticked when every time I pass McDonalds or a store that I don't just wheel right in and buy them a treat.
It is hard to feel that you are letting your children down. And then I think, maybe I am teaching my children something more something better. I have to really stand back and take a deep breath to get to this because struggling is just so damn hard. BUT I want to think that I am teaching my kids the important things. Things like; compassion, how to look out for each other, what it means to be a family, how important going to school is and to try and do well at it. To NEVER give up!
As I look around at the world, all of the jobs being lost, the people losing their homes and the general state of things. Sometimes I have to laugh to myself. The Mad-Sci and I have been dealing with this for a while sooooo that just puts us that much further ahead. The state of the economy probably is more painful for others-only because I am used to it. The people running our Country really have no idea....and I believe never will. Most ( I can't think of one) will never see the struggles I have.
I don't know..they may have the power and the money...but I like to think I have the wisdom. I also know that I can look at the man next to me struggling and look with compassion. Hopefully so can my children.
"When you come to the edge of all the light you have and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on or you will be taught to fly."
Patrick Overt
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Nail Polish & Turtles
"If you instill in your child a love of the outdoors and an appreciation of nature, you will have given him a treasure no one can take away."
Ted Trueblood
Wahooooo!! Schools out for Summer!!
I am not sure who was more excited for the last day of school, me or my children. No more dragging them out of bed, tossing them in the shower, arguing about the clothes they choose. No more screaming a hundred times to get to bed, shut the light off. And No more Homework battles! Now, watch for my update in 3 months when I am doing the count down of how many days before school starts because I have had enough summer.
The last day of school was a bit rough on me. I dropped TanMan off with his teacher and had tears in my eyes. My baby is growing up and kindergarten days are over. This was obvious as my lil TanMan quickly escaped my side to blend in with his buddies, pretending to not know me. My boys are smart. They know when Mom is about to lose it and they want no part of that scene. I walked alone back to my car crying, looking around wondering; am I the only Mom crying here?
Our first day of summer started with the dog finding a turtle crawling through our yard. The boys were pumped and ran off to find a container to keep the poor thing captive. Later, I was chatting away on the telephone and in they rushed looking for something. Not paying much attention I kept on chatting. After a while I stepped outside to see how the turtle was surviving and was speechless.
Back when I was very young, summer meant running wild and occasionally getting involved with our school summer program. What we never missed was the turtle racing event. We would go find a turtle by a creek somewhere. Funny to think of all the turtles that were found for this. Once we found the turtle we would grab our fingernail polish and paint a number on its back so we could identify our turtle in the race. I don't remember any of the actual races or if my turtles ever won. At some time in my two boys short little lives I must have told the turtle racing stories.
So yesterday when I stepped out my door and looked in the gray tub, filled with rocks, mud, water and a rather large turtle with its whole shell painted bright toenail color pink I was shocked?
ME:"You painted the whole shell?"
TDog: "Kind of but we didn't mean to"
Me: "well the poor thing is flaming pink"
TanMan: "It looked cool Mom"
TDog: "It was a cool design Mom"
TanMan: "Til Janey got it" (Janey is our hunting dog)
TDog: "Janey hit it with her paw and flipped it over so the design I made got all smudged"
Me: "Ahh well that explains it but I told you I only painted a number on my turtles back"
TDog: "Yeah, but this looked cool"
Me: "do you remember why turtles have a shell and why they are the color they are?"
TDog and TanMan: (silence, but I see they are thinking - if they know anything at all my boys know about camouflage)
TanMan: "Well they live in the water Mom, won't it just wash off."
Me: "Does it wash off my toenails when I take a shower?"
TDog: (with a look of 'oh crap') "will it ever wear off??"
Me: "I don't know, maybe-hopefully"
TanMan: "I called Dad, he said they eat fish-we gotta get it some fish Mom"
Me: "just feed it some lettuce and grapes-it will be fine"
TDog : "No Dad says fish!"
Me: "Yes. well Dad isn't home and where in the world am I supposed to get fish??"
And so we were off to the bait store. The 3 older gentlemen sitting on the porch of the bait store and the clerk at the store are probably still talking about us. The lady and her two kids buying minnows for a turtle. Lucky for me they hadn't seen the poor turtle. We spent a day and a half with that turtle in captivity. The boys had great fun holding a minnow in front of that turtle as it chomped the head off. TanMan kept running in the house to show me bloody headless minnows.
So I am guessing the boys are learning something here but when that turtle wasn't munching on minnow heads it was scratching on the side of the plastic tub, trying to escape. I called a meeting.
Me: "OK boys, does that bother you that he hates being in that tub?"
Boys: (more thinking)
Me: "Would you want to be caged like that?
TanMan: "I wouldn't fit in there Mom"
Me: "I know, but what if I made you sit in a little space all day long instead of out running around?"
Boys: (thinking going on...I know it...(Lord please let them think this through)
Phone rings...it is their Dad. I explain the situation and that they don't want to let it go. He says; "tell them it is mean to keep it, let the damn thing go-beside, it is nesting time, it could have laid eggs somewhere or is going to". I relay that message and then go back inside. I watch as TDog talks to TanMan a little then he picks the turtle up and off they run.
Later when I look in the tub, it is empty. Then I wonder how long would I have tried to persuade them to let that thing go if the Mad Sci hadn't called.
Ahhh summer....turtles, baseball and little boys!
"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries."
—A.A. Milne
Ted Trueblood
Wahooooo!! Schools out for Summer!!
I am not sure who was more excited for the last day of school, me or my children. No more dragging them out of bed, tossing them in the shower, arguing about the clothes they choose. No more screaming a hundred times to get to bed, shut the light off. And No more Homework battles! Now, watch for my update in 3 months when I am doing the count down of how many days before school starts because I have had enough summer.
The last day of school was a bit rough on me. I dropped TanMan off with his teacher and had tears in my eyes. My baby is growing up and kindergarten days are over. This was obvious as my lil TanMan quickly escaped my side to blend in with his buddies, pretending to not know me. My boys are smart. They know when Mom is about to lose it and they want no part of that scene. I walked alone back to my car crying, looking around wondering; am I the only Mom crying here?
Our first day of summer started with the dog finding a turtle crawling through our yard. The boys were pumped and ran off to find a container to keep the poor thing captive. Later, I was chatting away on the telephone and in they rushed looking for something. Not paying much attention I kept on chatting. After a while I stepped outside to see how the turtle was surviving and was speechless.
Back when I was very young, summer meant running wild and occasionally getting involved with our school summer program. What we never missed was the turtle racing event. We would go find a turtle by a creek somewhere. Funny to think of all the turtles that were found for this. Once we found the turtle we would grab our fingernail polish and paint a number on its back so we could identify our turtle in the race. I don't remember any of the actual races or if my turtles ever won. At some time in my two boys short little lives I must have told the turtle racing stories.
So yesterday when I stepped out my door and looked in the gray tub, filled with rocks, mud, water and a rather large turtle with its whole shell painted bright toenail color pink I was shocked?
ME:"You painted the whole shell?"
TDog: "Kind of but we didn't mean to"
Me: "well the poor thing is flaming pink"
TanMan: "It looked cool Mom"
TDog: "It was a cool design Mom"
TanMan: "Til Janey got it" (Janey is our hunting dog)
TDog: "Janey hit it with her paw and flipped it over so the design I made got all smudged"
Me: "Ahh well that explains it but I told you I only painted a number on my turtles back"
TDog: "Yeah, but this looked cool"
Me: "do you remember why turtles have a shell and why they are the color they are?"
TDog and TanMan: (silence, but I see they are thinking - if they know anything at all my boys know about camouflage)
TanMan: "Well they live in the water Mom, won't it just wash off."
Me: "Does it wash off my toenails when I take a shower?"
TDog: (with a look of 'oh crap') "will it ever wear off??"
Me: "I don't know, maybe-hopefully"
TanMan: "I called Dad, he said they eat fish-we gotta get it some fish Mom"
Me: "just feed it some lettuce and grapes-it will be fine"
TDog : "No Dad says fish!"
Me: "Yes. well Dad isn't home and where in the world am I supposed to get fish??"
And so we were off to the bait store. The 3 older gentlemen sitting on the porch of the bait store and the clerk at the store are probably still talking about us. The lady and her two kids buying minnows for a turtle. Lucky for me they hadn't seen the poor turtle. We spent a day and a half with that turtle in captivity. The boys had great fun holding a minnow in front of that turtle as it chomped the head off. TanMan kept running in the house to show me bloody headless minnows.
So I am guessing the boys are learning something here but when that turtle wasn't munching on minnow heads it was scratching on the side of the plastic tub, trying to escape. I called a meeting.
Me: "OK boys, does that bother you that he hates being in that tub?"
Boys: (more thinking)
Me: "Would you want to be caged like that?
TanMan: "I wouldn't fit in there Mom"
Me: "I know, but what if I made you sit in a little space all day long instead of out running around?"
Boys: (thinking going on...I know it...(Lord please let them think this through)
Phone rings...it is their Dad. I explain the situation and that they don't want to let it go. He says; "tell them it is mean to keep it, let the damn thing go-beside, it is nesting time, it could have laid eggs somewhere or is going to". I relay that message and then go back inside. I watch as TDog talks to TanMan a little then he picks the turtle up and off they run.
Later when I look in the tub, it is empty. Then I wonder how long would I have tried to persuade them to let that thing go if the Mad Sci hadn't called.
Ahhh summer....turtles, baseball and little boys!
"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries."
—A.A. Milne
Thursday, May 14, 2009
This morning as I laid out all my paperwork for a very important phone call I explained to TanMan (now 5 1/2 years old):
"the call is very important and I cannot be interrupted. If you need a drink, something to eat, a movie put in, your butt wiped - anything lets do it before I pick up the phone. It is a very important call, son - do you understand that you cannot make noise or ask for anything while I am on the phone?
"Yeah, OK Mom, but can I breathe?"
A few days ago while driving my boy to a birthday party:
TanMan: Mom, what if on the day I was born I came out and I was still a seed?
Mom: hmmm, that wouldn't be good
TanMan: Then the doctor would have to stick me back in your stomach and sew you up so I could grow more.
Mom: gosh Son..what makes you think of that?
TanMann: I dunno...going to a birthday party I guess.
I have let almost a whole month pass by without taking time to ramble on here. In that month of time I have turned another year older. FORTY FIVE flippin years old. Geesh...
I celebrated another Mothers Day. The Mad Sci came through this year and took my boys shopping and bought me some hanging plants for my yard. Big points for him - finally. Actually, he has been on a roll this year. He took the boys shopping for my birthday too. He let them pick out their own gifts for me and after a 15 minute game of rock, scissors, paper I was able to open their gifts. Both the boys were excited with their gift and it was a big commotion as to which I opened first. So this year I received my first gift of nick-knacks from my babies. Very fragile glass pieces with flowers and the word MOM. Then it was a half hour argument between the boys as to which gift I like better. It never gets any easier being the mom - but it sure is good to know they love you.
I spent Mothers day out in the woods hunting turkey with my Uncle. (I hope to write about this years hunting experiences in a later post) I had 5 days to hunt but Mothers Day was the only day I could actually be out without the responsibility of my kids. The Mad Sci had the whole day long to spend with them-and they need it. He works a lot right now and the boys need him - TDog especially. He is at the age where it just isn't cool to need your Mom-but Dad is a different story. So sad to watch your boy grow away from you. Not away I suppose just growing up. TanMan still needs me lots more than his Dad though, so I have some time. I know they will always need me, I just hope it is as much as I need them. Life can be pretty unfair sometimes yanno. And so far I have learned that being the Mom is anything but fair....but all the little moments make it all so worth it.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Spring has sprung ..and so have I apparently
There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings.
―Hodding Carter
Finally I begin with: The weather is awesome up here in Minnesota! Sunny and 7o degrees today!! Yahoooo!
It has been forever and a day since I have taken time to write here. I don't know why, I have no excuse! Except for maybe that here in Minnesota when winter seems to never end, it is hard to even fake being nice. It probably wouldn't have been a good idea to come and write when all I would have had is whining, complaining and ticked off at someone.
It was a long, long winter. My lil TanMan has been sick since February, I think. I finally got him in at our regular clinic only to find that the substitute clinic I brought him to misdiagnosed the poor child. He had strep throat for well over 2 weeks which then brought infection into his sinus. It was not a fun time-docs said he probably had a couple of virus' on top of all that. Not to worry though-we have him on some kick butt antibiotics now-14 days worth. Which is great except for the diarrhea junk that goes with the meds. Seems we just can't win with the kid....and that my friends is the price you pay for sending your child off to the germ factory (school) after never placing them in a daycare. We are building immunities, that's what we 're doing.
We had a great Easter. I disappointed myself by not posting here at that time. Then I disappointed myself even more when late in the evening on Easter I realized I had not taken one picture of the whole day. Geeesh....what kind of mom am I anyway?
Now I am working up for summer. School will be out soon and I will need to keep these two growing boys of mine busy. T-Dogg will be playing little league baseball and TanMann wants to join Boy Scouts. I would like them both in swimming lessons but my "too cool" TDogg thinks he knows everything he needs already. Big surprise-another battle with me and the 9 year old. The kid is aging me fast. He is also "too cool" for school apparently. My star student now seems to think he knows everything and so he just has to go to school to socialize. Love getting those type of reports from Mrs Teacher.
So now I am off for the last couple of hours I get of alone time today...before the bus comes rolling down the road and delivers my lil angels for the week end. Baseball try outs tomorrow..I am nervous and T-Dogg is too cool to worry about it.
Tanner on Easter as I was preparing dinner at home for our family. This started when I opened the oven to check on the ham:
TanMan: Mom, are you getting bigger?
Mom: (half in the oven) What? What do you mean?
TanMan: Are you growing Mom?
Mom: No, I am done growing, but you still have lots of years left to grow
TanMan: Mom? How come it looks bigger there then?
Mom: (turning around with big roaster pan of ham in hands) bigger? where?
TanMan: Right there Mom (pointing at my rear end)
Mom: (looks over at daughter in law who is trying to not bust a gut) go wash your hands child
TanMan: ok..but
Mom: (drops hot pad on the floor, bend over to pick up)
TanMan: SEE RIGHT THERE (pointing somewhere between my rear end and to what I have now come to realize..saddlebags)..it's all puffy or something!! Is that fat Mom?
Daughter in law: you better go wash up TanMan..and if you know what is good for you..never, never tell your mom she looks fat!
Mom: gosh....sure glad I made you all that chocolate frosted cake..that I will now be sitting on my fat butt eating all by MYSELF!
(Apparently winter was longer than I realized...was long enough for me to get a fat butt!!! Can't wait for bathing suit season........argh)
―Hodding Carter
Finally I begin with: The weather is awesome up here in Minnesota! Sunny and 7o degrees today!! Yahoooo!
It has been forever and a day since I have taken time to write here. I don't know why, I have no excuse! Except for maybe that here in Minnesota when winter seems to never end, it is hard to even fake being nice. It probably wouldn't have been a good idea to come and write when all I would have had is whining, complaining and ticked off at someone.
It was a long, long winter. My lil TanMan has been sick since February, I think. I finally got him in at our regular clinic only to find that the substitute clinic I brought him to misdiagnosed the poor child. He had strep throat for well over 2 weeks which then brought infection into his sinus. It was not a fun time-docs said he probably had a couple of virus' on top of all that. Not to worry though-we have him on some kick butt antibiotics now-14 days worth. Which is great except for the diarrhea junk that goes with the meds. Seems we just can't win with the kid....and that my friends is the price you pay for sending your child off to the germ factory (school) after never placing them in a daycare. We are building immunities, that's what we 're doing.
We had a great Easter. I disappointed myself by not posting here at that time. Then I disappointed myself even more when late in the evening on Easter I realized I had not taken one picture of the whole day. Geeesh....what kind of mom am I anyway?
Now I am working up for summer. School will be out soon and I will need to keep these two growing boys of mine busy. T-Dogg will be playing little league baseball and TanMann wants to join Boy Scouts. I would like them both in swimming lessons but my "too cool" TDogg thinks he knows everything he needs already. Big surprise-another battle with me and the 9 year old. The kid is aging me fast. He is also "too cool" for school apparently. My star student now seems to think he knows everything and so he just has to go to school to socialize. Love getting those type of reports from Mrs Teacher.
So now I am off for the last couple of hours I get of alone time today...before the bus comes rolling down the road and delivers my lil angels for the week end. Baseball try outs tomorrow..I am nervous and T-Dogg is too cool to worry about it.
Tanner on Easter as I was preparing dinner at home for our family. This started when I opened the oven to check on the ham:
TanMan: Mom, are you getting bigger?
Mom: (half in the oven) What? What do you mean?
TanMan: Are you growing Mom?
Mom: No, I am done growing, but you still have lots of years left to grow
TanMan: Mom? How come it looks bigger there then?
Mom: (turning around with big roaster pan of ham in hands) bigger? where?
TanMan: Right there Mom (pointing at my rear end)
Mom: (looks over at daughter in law who is trying to not bust a gut) go wash your hands child
TanMan: ok..but
Mom: (drops hot pad on the floor, bend over to pick up)
TanMan: SEE RIGHT THERE (pointing somewhere between my rear end and to what I have now come to realize..saddlebags)..it's all puffy or something!! Is that fat Mom?
Daughter in law: you better go wash up TanMan..and if you know what is good for you..never, never tell your mom she looks fat!
Mom: gosh....sure glad I made you all that chocolate frosted cake..that I will now be sitting on my fat butt eating all by MYSELF!
(Apparently winter was longer than I realized...was long enough for me to get a fat butt!!! Can't wait for bathing suit season........argh)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Spring.will it ever be?
It has been forever and a day since I have sat down here to write. I have tried to keep up on my reading but have done poorly at that too. It is the time of the year- I do poorly at almost everything. LOL How is that for a nice positive entry?
I finally am able to see grass...soft, mushy, muddy, grass. But I don't have to shovel it so I will be quiet and not complain. I think we are on day 3 of rain, with measurable amounts of snow forecasted for this week end. Now ain't that just dandy. I need Spring, and I don't mean windy, rainy Spring. I need sunshine, tree budding, wild animals mating Spring. C'mon Mother Nature let me have it.
Winter can get to be a little bit depressing for me, in case you haven't noticed. Everything feels just a little bit darker, a little bit harder, and all an uphill battle. Then I sit back and think, is it just the time of year or is it the time of life I am in? My little boys need me less and less every day and my folks need me more and more.
A couple weeks back the boys and I took a trip to Iowa for my Nephew and his little girl's birthday parties, We have to make the trip in one day-there and back, because my Dad refuses to stay away from home any longer than that. So drive 5 hours, celebrate birthdays for 2 hours, then drive back 5 more hours. It was on this trip that I was forced to accept that my Dad is changing. My Dad, who never in my whole life has been lost while driving, had us lost. He was calm, my Mother was spazzing out, my boys were wild Indian's after just spending hours in the car..and I was in the very back seat of my folks van with reality slapping me hard across the face. My Dad wasn't admitting he was lost nor was he denying it. It was hard to watch him, I could see the look of confusion on his face. The look of denial on my mothers face. Sad, I tell you. Reality-well it just sucks! Much of his memory loss is due to his open heart surgery and the docs warned us of it. But I cannot help wondering how much of the surgery is the cause or if it is just the normal way life will proceed for my Dad. What I do know is that I am not ready to deal. Why do I have to? I don't want to. I want my Dad to be the guy who knows everything and can do everything. Just like he has always been my whole life. I want him to make up an answer to the question I ask when he doesn't really know the answer. I don't want to see that my Dad is becoming a little old man who is just as scared at what lies ahead as I am.
Flip side. Man, my boys are growing too fast. Last week, after a little trouble at school, TDog informs me that I can't stop him from hanging around with whoever he wants. "You wanna bet on it? I can control a whole lot more than you think, Son- do not push me!!" Now didn't I handle that well??? Good Lord. Words are coming out of my mouth that leave even me shocked. The Mad-Sci, he just smiles and quietly exits the room. I don't know but my feelings were bruised-a lot - when my now 9 year old informed me: "you only want me to look like a dork, just like you!"
Yes, oh child of mine, I have not slept an entire night through in the last nine years, have wiped your butt, your nose and held your head over the throw up bucket-JUST SO I CAN MAKE YOU INTO A DORK! arghhhhhhhhhh
So,feeling like the cool and groovy Mom that I am...........lets go ROLLERSKATING!
Honestly, I had a great time! It had been over 20 years since I was on roller skates. Came home with a bruise on my rear end that was the size of a small bread plate and could barely drive for a week from a bruised wrist-but I did have fun. And occasionally TDog let me skate within 3 feet of him! My baby Tanner loves me still and skated constantly with me, round and round while holding my hand. (Sweet lil thing when will you grow up to think I am a dork too?) And you know, I do remember the roller rink. That's where the boys start trying to be real cool for those cute little girls who want to take my babies from me!! But I maintained and if girls were near I skated right past-like I didn't even know that cute little blond kid that I gave life to. My attempt at playing tag with the older boys is how my wrist got so sore. I hit that dang wall very hard. Good thing the wall was there or I'd still be flying along in those skates. Had a memory lapse in stopping there for a minute but I recovered and my wrist reminded for a week after on how not to stop on roller skates.
The whole month of February the stomach flu wreaked havoc on my household. Another little blessing of Minnesota winters. The germs stay bottled up in your house and just keep going round and round. March has brought us into head colds and coughs. A whole lotta hacking going on here at night. And never forget the virus. What the heck? Never heard of a virus when I was a kid...but it seems every other day someone has a new virus here at my house. Yes, we go to the doc, pay the office visit deductible only to have mister smiley doc say;"oh, a virus, wait 5-7 days and come back if it isn't any better." ackkkk I hate that-cant they give us shots in the butt or something to make this end??? I am sure when I was a kid we got shots in the rear when we were sick. Not any more though..now Moms all over Minnesota suffer through winter virus's. Over and Over again. Flu shots?? What the heck for, we don't get the flu-we get a VIRUS!!
So, if you are still reading this I am sure by now you are thinking it was kind of nice when it was so quiet from my corner of the world. Never fear, Spring is bound to arrive and then I will be back to my happy ass old self!! HAH! Well, I'll get to get outside, dig in my gardens anyway and a little dirt therapy always does me good!
I finally am able to see grass...soft, mushy, muddy, grass. But I don't have to shovel it so I will be quiet and not complain. I think we are on day 3 of rain, with measurable amounts of snow forecasted for this week end. Now ain't that just dandy. I need Spring, and I don't mean windy, rainy Spring. I need sunshine, tree budding, wild animals mating Spring. C'mon Mother Nature let me have it.
Winter can get to be a little bit depressing for me, in case you haven't noticed. Everything feels just a little bit darker, a little bit harder, and all an uphill battle. Then I sit back and think, is it just the time of year or is it the time of life I am in? My little boys need me less and less every day and my folks need me more and more.
A couple weeks back the boys and I took a trip to Iowa for my Nephew and his little girl's birthday parties, We have to make the trip in one day-there and back, because my Dad refuses to stay away from home any longer than that. So drive 5 hours, celebrate birthdays for 2 hours, then drive back 5 more hours. It was on this trip that I was forced to accept that my Dad is changing. My Dad, who never in my whole life has been lost while driving, had us lost. He was calm, my Mother was spazzing out, my boys were wild Indian's after just spending hours in the car..and I was in the very back seat of my folks van with reality slapping me hard across the face. My Dad wasn't admitting he was lost nor was he denying it. It was hard to watch him, I could see the look of confusion on his face. The look of denial on my mothers face. Sad, I tell you. Reality-well it just sucks! Much of his memory loss is due to his open heart surgery and the docs warned us of it. But I cannot help wondering how much of the surgery is the cause or if it is just the normal way life will proceed for my Dad. What I do know is that I am not ready to deal. Why do I have to? I don't want to. I want my Dad to be the guy who knows everything and can do everything. Just like he has always been my whole life. I want him to make up an answer to the question I ask when he doesn't really know the answer. I don't want to see that my Dad is becoming a little old man who is just as scared at what lies ahead as I am.
Flip side. Man, my boys are growing too fast. Last week, after a little trouble at school, TDog informs me that I can't stop him from hanging around with whoever he wants. "You wanna bet on it? I can control a whole lot more than you think, Son- do not push me!!" Now didn't I handle that well??? Good Lord. Words are coming out of my mouth that leave even me shocked. The Mad-Sci, he just smiles and quietly exits the room. I don't know but my feelings were bruised-a lot - when my now 9 year old informed me: "you only want me to look like a dork, just like you!"
Yes, oh child of mine, I have not slept an entire night through in the last nine years, have wiped your butt, your nose and held your head over the throw up bucket-JUST SO I CAN MAKE YOU INTO A DORK! arghhhhhhhhhh
So,feeling like the cool and groovy Mom that I am...........lets go ROLLERSKATING!
Honestly, I had a great time! It had been over 20 years since I was on roller skates. Came home with a bruise on my rear end that was the size of a small bread plate and could barely drive for a week from a bruised wrist-but I did have fun. And occasionally TDog let me skate within 3 feet of him! My baby Tanner loves me still and skated constantly with me, round and round while holding my hand. (Sweet lil thing when will you grow up to think I am a dork too?) And you know, I do remember the roller rink. That's where the boys start trying to be real cool for those cute little girls who want to take my babies from me!! But I maintained and if girls were near I skated right past-like I didn't even know that cute little blond kid that I gave life to. My attempt at playing tag with the older boys is how my wrist got so sore. I hit that dang wall very hard. Good thing the wall was there or I'd still be flying along in those skates. Had a memory lapse in stopping there for a minute but I recovered and my wrist reminded for a week after on how not to stop on roller skates.
The whole month of February the stomach flu wreaked havoc on my household. Another little blessing of Minnesota winters. The germs stay bottled up in your house and just keep going round and round. March has brought us into head colds and coughs. A whole lotta hacking going on here at night. And never forget the virus. What the heck? Never heard of a virus when I was a kid...but it seems every other day someone has a new virus here at my house. Yes, we go to the doc, pay the office visit deductible only to have mister smiley doc say;"oh, a virus, wait 5-7 days and come back if it isn't any better." ackkkk I hate that-cant they give us shots in the butt or something to make this end??? I am sure when I was a kid we got shots in the rear when we were sick. Not any more though..now Moms all over Minnesota suffer through winter virus's. Over and Over again. Flu shots?? What the heck for, we don't get the flu-we get a VIRUS!!
So, if you are still reading this I am sure by now you are thinking it was kind of nice when it was so quiet from my corner of the world. Never fear, Spring is bound to arrive and then I will be back to my happy ass old self!! HAH! Well, I'll get to get outside, dig in my gardens anyway and a little dirt therapy always does me good!
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